Thank U, Next

Thank U, Next—A Letter To My Exes

A letter to all my exes/guys who screwed me over ;)

No, this is not revenge for any of my exes. I am happy with my boyfriend, Vincent.

Inspired by the one and only Ariana Grande, and her new song "Thank U, Next".


Thought I'd end up with Josiah W
But he wasn't a match
Wrote some songs about Adam
Now I listen and laugh
Even almost got married
And for David, I'm so thankful
Wish I could say, "Thank you" to Jordon
'Cause he was an angel

One taught me love
One taught me patience
And one taught me pain
Now, I'm so amazing
I've loved and I've lost
But that's not what I see
So, look what I got
Look what you taught me
And for that, I say

Thank you, next (Next)
Thank you, next (Next)
Thank you, next
I'm so fuckin' grateful for my ex
Thank you, next (Next)
Thank you, next (Next)
Thank you, next (Next)

1. John

My first crush, who I was crazy about because he sang and played guitar, but thank u, next :)

2. Ian 

You told everyone a huge lie about me and us and caused me intense, deep depression. You made that year of high school a living hell. You apologized years later, and we actually lived together for a week but... Thank u, next :)

3. Adam

I lost "it" to you. I loved you. I could have given you everything but you were blind. I wasted so much time and effort on you. You never saw me for who I really was and you never would. You tried to get with all my friends. Thank u, next :)

4. Stephen

You couldn't admit you were wrong and grow up. You wanted to keep us a secret. Thank u, next :)

5. Ben M

You rebounded me after saying you couldn't be in a relationship. I'm glad we became friends after everything, but thank u, next :)

6. Christian K

You rebounded me too. You cheated on me. You're a HUGE player to this day. Thank u, next :)

7. David

You were 5 years older than me. I dated you when I was a senior in high school. You wanted to get married and for me to move in and go to college where you were. I finally realized how crazy it all was and how controlling you were. Thank u, next :)

8. Logan

You were iffy. And you rebounded me with the girl you swore up and down annoyed you and said she was the biggest bitch. This caused me a deep depression and people took your side. Then y'all broke up soon after. Thank u, next :)

9. Josiah S

You're the absolute worst. You made me think I was such a slut because you are such a high and mighty Christian, when we weren't exclusive or dating. You pushed me down a set of stairs. You caused me to attempt suicide. Then you rebounded me with the girl you swore you didn't like. You're a hypocritical Christian. You bullied me ALL of freshman year. You put gravy on my door, and sent a video of you putting my butter you borrowed in the toilet. You're an immature prick. Thank u, next :)

10. Eric S

You're Josiah's friend and basically, the same situation happened. You accused me of taking advantage of you when it takes two to tango... You got mad when I started dating Ben F, but why? You said you didn't have feelings for me and he and I had been trying to get together for years, you knew that. And he had told me the day before he didn't want a relationship either! How was I supposed to know he would change his mind in the 3 days? Thank u, next :)

11. Ben F

I loved you. We had been trying to get together for years. But when we finally did start dating, you were extremely immature and had very bad anger issues. You broke up with me because I got mad at you for forgetting something at your house. We dated for a month or two. Thank u, next :)

12. Eric B

You were an alcoholic and coke addict who worked with nasty strippers and always asked people for money. Thank u, next :)

13. Jonathan

You were in my philosophy class. You're kind of crazy. I guess I saw it that way because you could never make up your mind about me. You acted bipolar. You pushed people away. You're mean. You used me for sex. Thank u, next :)

14. Michael

Oh God, Michael... the most immature person I have met that is five years older than me. You and I were off and on for years, and you dragged me through all your druggie drama... lied that you were done with drugs, dragged me into immature drama only nine months ago with you and your psychotic girlfriend... you'll never change. You'll always be immature and looking for drama. You're also mean and talk shit behind everyone's backs. I heard what you said about me. You tried to home wreck Vincent and I. This is another message to you to stay the hell out of my life.

15. Christian B

****** YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME THE MOST. YOU ABUSED ME. PHYSICALLY. YOU MANIPULATED ME. CONTROLLED ME. YOU MADE ME CHANGE. I LIVED WITH YOU. I learned to be so much safer after you, I'm so cautious now thanks to you. I have PTSD. You have gotten arrested probably twenty times for various charges in your life. Thank u, next :)

16. Le

You used me for sex and honestly you're just the absolute most typical frat boy I have ever met in my life. The way you brag about girls and sex and drugs and alcohol and your fraternity. You were a really bad friend. You talk so loud. You had anger issues. You tried to get with all my friends. You called me and my friends dumb. Thank u, next :)

17. Eric O

You were an alcoholic. You cared more about alcohol than you did about me. You forced me to keep getting on the bike when we were mountain biking when I didn't want to, because I had just run into a tree, had the bike fall on me, and caused my leg to bleed and be in intense pain. You started to not care about me and you couldn't see it. You never wanted to see me anymore, at least you didn't act like it. You were changing and you couldn't see it. THEN, you rebounded me after we broke up; with the girl I knew always liked you. Thank u, next :)

18. Josiah W

We had everything in common and talked for three weeks as "pen pals" and when you learned something about me when we hung out for the first and only time, you didn't want to be with me anymore. I thought this was shallow and you honestly broke my heart. You wasted my whole Christmas break 2017. Thank u, next :)

I Love You Vincent

Vincent and I have been dating for almost a year now- the longest relationship I've had so far. I love you, Vincent :)

I'm so fuckin' grateful for my ex.

Thank u, next !!

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18 Times Kate Middleton Was Actually All Of Us In College, Beside The Princess Thing

Every girl has to go through her clueless college stage before she reaches Duchess status.

Kate Middleton is basically a household name by now, and how could this not be the case when she has the gorgeous hair, kind smile, and incredible fashion sense. With her constantly in the spotlight looking so put together, we sometimes forget that the Duchess was actually all of us in college!

Here are 18 times that Kate proved she was just like all of us.

1. Going all out in the name of school spirit

There is nothing like breaking out the war paint and screaming for your home team. Like Kate, we all love to get a little messy and make some memories with our friends.

2. Hanging out with the roomies

Some people may not get lucky in this area but for those who are best friends with their roommates, they understand the love. It's a dream come true for everyone who has always wanted to live with their best friends. It's like a sleepover that never ends.

3. Dressing up cute on the first day of school...

You got to make a good first impression on your way to school. Whether it's during your 7 A.M or 4 P.M., it's always best to dress to impress.

4. ...and wearing yoga pants for the rest of the year

And this goes all the way until the last week of school when you don't bother getting out of bed to wear pants at all.

5. Going grocery shopping and throwing in cookies, ice-cream, and every type of Pringles because your mom isn't there to say no

You'll probably regret that in a few months when the Freshman Fifteen kicks in.

6. Walking for miles from your car to your dorm carrying groceries

We can't park by the apartment for a solid five minutes to carry our groceries up to the kitchen or we will risk a ticket, but we can walk a few miles carrying food that gets heavier, and heavier, and heavier with every step.

7. Going out for a night on the town on a Friday night

Dancing, laughter, and fun? Everyone in college has been to a party or two. It's a classic part of the college experience. Sometimes you just need a distraction from all the essays and tests.

8. Being so late to class you threw on whatever your hands grabbed next

We've all been there. Our alarm doesn't go off, we press snooze a few too many times, or forget to even set an alarm and next thing you know we are running around the dorm room like Taz from Looney Toons. You throw on whatever, then run to class.

Unfortunately 9/10 times our outfits don't turn out. Although, Kate can certainly pull off this look, no matter how mismatched.

9. Pretending your walking to the same building as the cute boy you met so you have the excuse to keep talking to him

I am very guilty of doing this. Although I missed my class, at least I got to talk to the really cute boy who has class at 9:45 in the STEM building. It was worth it.

10. Sitting on the floor or standing because you're a poor college student who can't afford chairs or tables

Eating on the floor? Always. Being a college kid is tough and sometimes you have to sacrifice some things to obtain the others. Such as choosing chocolate milk and Halo Top over vegetables and hair conditioner.

Judging by Kate's beautiful locks, she chose the conditioner.

Probably the vegetables too.

We should just all follow her example.

11. Going on cute date with the boy you followed to class-turned-boyfriend

Now my short-lived romance may not have extended farther than us talking and walking to his class, but Kate and William obviously had a better ending. Nevertheless, college is the place to grow and date and possibly find the one.

12. Keeping your hair long and growing because you can't afford to get it cut

Don't trust your roommate. No matter how many times she begs you to let her cut it. Don't.

13. Turning 21 and getting dressed up and going out with your best friends

While this one probably doesn't apply to Kate, since you can drink at age 18 in most countries, all my people in the United States know the sweet freedom of turning 21. It's an iconic time in a students life and marks a huge milestone as well.

14. Passing out flyers for some type of movement or protest

Everyone wants to be a part of something bigger - which is why college is the time to stand up for what you believe in. May that be RedforEd, Planned Parenthood, anti-Abortion, Trump, the Wall, pizza bagels, it's all an exercise of the first amendment.

15. Ranting to your friends about the professor that just "doesn't understand you"

You know your thinking about that professor right now as you read this. And you know that that's your reaction whenever they give you a bad grade or say something you disagree with at the tiniest degree.

16. Getting glammed-up for those senior photos

Pick out your best outfit and make sure it's a good hair day because everyone will be viewing these photos forever... and in Kate's place that is more than true. Luckily she looks as gorgeous as ever. Does she ever have a bad hair day?

17. Walking out of your last class knowing you'll never have to write a single paper again

And purposefully not thinking about how you will be going into the real world in less than a few days.

18. When you've graduated and realized you have no idea what you're going to do with your life

Maybe a prince will be right around the corner to sweep you off your feet so you won't have to figure your life out.
Cover Image Credit: Laura Warshauer

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What The 2019 'Season Of The Crab' Means For Your Zodiac Sign

It could be a super emotional month for everyone.


It's officially summer, and that means it's time to dive into the watery depths of Cancer season on June 21. There is a different energy in the air; different from the vibe in Gemini season. Each sign can expect to notice its effects, whether they are obvious or more subtle.

Cancer season means you're probably going to feel more moody than usual. Maybe you're crying more often. Maybe you'll feel more dreamy and intuitive. Maybe you'll be more irritable. Whatever the case, it never hurts to know what you're about to get yourself into.

So what does Cancer season mean for you, based on your zodiac sign?

1. Cancer - 21 Jun to 22 Jul


Happy solar return, cutie crustacean!

This is one of the dreamiest times of the entire year for you, but lacking structure and planning could prove stressful. You're in an imaginative zone and you may not feel like settling down before chasing the stars, but you must think ahead so things will work out.

2. Leo - 23 Jul to 22 Aug


Cancer season will find you exploring who you want to become, and what you want to leave behind. With your season just around the corner, this is also a magical time for healing and exploring yourself. Journaling, creative pursuits, or talking things through are wonderful ways to nourish your soul.

3. Virgo - 23 Aug to 22 Sep


This Cancer season, you'll find that the stars and the moon are asking you to rest. You will be faced with many choices and decisions this month. Enjoy your time fostering whatever creativity comes to mind. Do not force yourself to go out if you're not feeling up to it. It's okay to be you and be alone sometimes.

4. Libra - 23 Sep to 22 Oct


Cancer season and Neptune retrograde begin on June 21, causing you to need to pause and reflect on your goals. Change can be uncomfortable, but every small shift brings us closer to our goals. Be willing to take a risk, and let the universe push you in the direction of happiness and adventure.

5. Scorpio - 23 Oct to 21 Nov


Cancer season finds you traveling and opening new doors of opportunity. Are you really gaining anything by holding onto the past so tightly, Scorpio? Set your sights on new dreams, and leave all those people and situations that are holding you back in your rearview mirror.

6. Sagittarius - 22 Nov to 21 Dec


The question Cancer season asks you now, Sag, is whether you'll run away from your past, cling on to it, or do the emotional work necessary to process it and let it go. Appreciate the memories you are making and try not to get too wrapped up in the little things that annoy you. This is a time for experimentation.

7. Capricorn - 22 Dec to 19 Jan


You love your deadlines and goals, but remember that taking care of your emotional health will ultimately help you be more efficient! Trust your intuition, take it slow, and use the energy for play and creativity rather than detailed planning.

8. Aquarius - 20 Jan to 19 Feb


Cancer season this year is all about being comfortable and doing what you know, so go ahead and stick to that. This is also a great time for you to check in with yourself when it comes to wellness and your habits.

9. Pisces - 20 Feb to 20 Mar


This Cancer season, the heightened emotion that is in the air will bring you natural happiness. Go out, have a wonderful night under the summer stars, and use your experiences for inspiration. It will reinvigorate your soul to be more creative and more adventurous.

10. Aries - 21 Mar to 19 Apr


Cancer season finds you focused squarely on your personal life. It's a wonderful time for an adventure. Go on that hike. Wake up early and drive to the beach. You'll feel an inclination to do it all-- and you can! Remind yourself that you are capable.

It will be hard to stay focused because the vibe just feels so good, but Neptune's retrograde brings intriguing messages to your dreams, so pay close attention to your inner voice at this time.

11. Taurus - 20 Apr to 20 May


Cancer season causes emotions to be even more extreme so you'll probably reach your breaking point this month, Taurus, but you are never alone in the problems that you face. Remember to control your temper long enough to cool off and take some relaxation for yourself.

Take a day off and drive around with the windows down. Take five days off and drive to the beach to hang out and reflect. Whatever it is that you need to feel better, it is time to do it this month.

12. Gemini - 21 May to 20 Jun


Cancer is a sign that's all about security and protection, and you're really feeling those vibes right now. Your confidence is running high, as you are feeling more in control of your life. Get rid of the elements in your life that won't propel you forward.

Just as the moon and ocean cycle, so do we. Cancer is that strong energy that gets you up in your feels; it's sure to be a ride.

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