Thank U, Next

Thank U, Next—A Letter To My Exes

A letter to all my exes/guys who screwed me over ;)

No, this is not revenge for any of my exes. I am happy with my boyfriend, Vincent.

Inspired by the one and only Ariana Grande, and her new song "Thank U, Next".

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Thought I'd end up with Josiah W
But he wasn't a match
Wrote some songs about Adam
Now I listen and laugh
Even almost got married
And for David, I'm so thankful
Wish I could say, "Thank you" to Jordon
'Cause he was an angel

One taught me love
One taught me patience
And one taught me pain
Now, I'm so amazing
I've loved and I've lost
But that's not what I see
So, look what I got
Look what you taught me
And for that, I say

Thank you, next (Next)
Thank you, next (Next)
Thank you, next
I'm so fuckin' grateful for my ex
Thank you, next (Next)
Thank you, next (Next)
Thank you, next (Next)

1. John

My first crush, who I was crazy about because he sang and played guitar, but thank u, next :)

2. Ian 

You told everyone a huge lie about me and us and caused me intense, deep depression. You made that year of high school a living hell. You apologized years later, and we actually lived together for a week but... Thank u, next :)

3. Adam

I lost "it" to you. I loved you. I could have given you everything but you were blind. I wasted so much time and effort on you. You never saw me for who I really was and you never would. You tried to get with all my friends. Thank u, next :)

4. Stephen

You couldn't admit you were wrong and grow up. You wanted to keep us a secret. Thank u, next :)

5. Ben M

You rebounded me after saying you couldn't be in a relationship. I'm glad we became friends after everything, but thank u, next :)

6. Christian K

You rebounded me too. You cheated on me. You're a HUGE player to this day. Thank u, next :)

7. David

You were 5 years older than me. I dated you when I was a senior in high school. You wanted to get married and for me to move in and go to college where you were. I finally realized how crazy it all was and how controlling you were. Thank u, next :)

8. Logan

You were iffy. And you rebounded me with the girl you swore up and down annoyed you and said she was the biggest bitch. This caused me a deep depression and people took your side. Then y'all broke up soon after. Thank u, next :)

9. Josiah S

You're the absolute worst. You made me think I was such a slut because you are such a high and mighty Christian, when we weren't exclusive or dating. You pushed me down a set of stairs. You caused me to attempt suicide. Then you rebounded me with the girl you swore you didn't like. You're a hypocritical Christian. You bullied me ALL of freshman year. You put gravy on my door, and sent a video of you putting my butter you borrowed in the toilet. You're an immature prick. Thank u, next :)

10. Eric S

You're Josiah's friend and basically, the same situation happened. You accused me of taking advantage of you when it takes two to tango... You got mad when I started dating Ben F, but why? You said you didn't have feelings for me and he and I had been trying to get together for years, you knew that. And he had told me the day before he didn't want a relationship either! How was I supposed to know he would change his mind in the 3 days? Thank u, next :)

11. Ben F

I loved you. We had been trying to get together for years. But when we finally did start dating, you were extremely immature and had very bad anger issues. You broke up with me because I got mad at you for forgetting something at your house. We dated for a month or two. Thank u, next :)

12. Eric B

You were an alcoholic and coke addict who worked with nasty strippers and always asked people for money. Thank u, next :)

13. Jonathan

You were in my philosophy class. You're kind of crazy. I guess I saw it that way because you could never make up your mind about me. You acted bipolar. You pushed people away. You're mean. You used me for sex. Thank u, next :)

14. Michael

Oh God, Michael... the most immature person I have met that is five years older than me. You and I were off and on for years, and you dragged me through all your druggie drama... lied that you were done with drugs, dragged me into immature drama only nine months ago with you and your psychotic girlfriend... you'll never change. You'll always be immature and looking for drama. You're also mean and talk shit behind everyone's backs. I heard what you said about me. You tried to home wreck Vincent and I. This is another message to you to stay the hell out of my life.

15. Christian B

****** YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME THE MOST. YOU ABUSED ME. PHYSICALLY. YOU MANIPULATED ME. CONTROLLED ME. YOU MADE ME CHANGE. I LIVED WITH YOU. I learned to be so much safer after you, I'm so cautious now thanks to you. I have PTSD. You have gotten arrested probably twenty times for various charges in your life. Thank u, next :)

16. Le

You used me for sex and honestly you're just the absolute most typical frat boy I have ever met in my life. The way you brag about girls and sex and drugs and alcohol and your fraternity. You were a really bad friend. You talk so loud. You had anger issues. You tried to get with all my friends. You called me and my friends dumb. Thank u, next :)

17. Eric O

You were an alcoholic. You cared more about alcohol than you did about me. You forced me to keep getting on the bike when we were mountain biking when I didn't want to, because I had just run into a tree, had the bike fall on me, and caused my leg to bleed and be in intense pain. You started to not care about me and you couldn't see it. You never wanted to see me anymore, at least you didn't act like it. You were changing and you couldn't see it. THEN, you rebounded me after we broke up; with the girl I knew always liked you. Thank u, next :)

18. Josiah W

We had everything in common and talked for three weeks as "pen pals" and when you learned something about me when we hung out for the first and only time, you didn't want to be with me anymore. I thought this was shallow and you honestly broke my heart. You wasted my whole Christmas break 2017. Thank u, next :)

I Love You Vincent

Vincent and I have been dating for almost a year now- the longest relationship I've had so far. I love you, Vincent :)

I'm so fuckin' grateful for my ex.

Thank u, next !!

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9 Reasons Crocs Are The Only Shoes You Need

Crocs have holes so your swag can breathe.
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Do you have fond childhood objects that make you nostalgic just thinking about your favorite Barbie or sequenced purse? Well for me, its my navy Crocs. Those shoes put me through elementary school. I eventually wore them out so much that I had to say goodbye. I tried Airwalks and sandals, but nothing compared. Then on my senior trip in New York City, a four story Crocs store gleamed at me from across the street and I bought another pair of Navy Blue Crocs. The rest is history. I wear them every morning to the lake for practice and then throughout the day to help air out my soaking feet. I love my Crocs so much, that I was in shock when it became apparent to me that people don't feel the same. Here are nine reasons why you should just throw out all of your other shoes and settle on Crocs.

1. They are waterproof.

These bad boys can take on the wettest of water. Nobody is sure what they are made of, though. The debate is still out there on foam vs. rubber. You can wear these bad boys any place water may or may not be: to the lake for practice or to the club where all the thirsty boys are. But honestly who cares because they're buoyant and water proof. Raise the roof.


2. Your most reliable support system

There is a reason nurses and swimming instructors alike swear by Crocs. Comfort. Croc's clogs will make you feel like your are walking on a cloud of Laffy Taffy. They are wide enough that your toes are not squished, and the rubbery material forms perfectly around your foot. Added bonus: The holes let in a nice breeze while riding around on your Razor Scooter.

3. Insane durability

Have you ever been so angry you could throw a Croc 'cause same? Have you ever had a Croc bitten while wrestling a great white shark? Me too. Have you ever had your entire foot rolled like a fruit roll up but had your Crocs still intact? Also me. All I know is that Seal Team 6 may or may not have worn these shoes to find and kill Osama Bin Laden. Just sayin'.


4. Bling, bling, bling

Jibbitz, am I right?! These are basically they're own money in the industry of comfortable footwear. From Spongebob to Christmas to your favorite fossil, Jibbitz has it all. There's nothing more swag-tastic than pimped out crocs. Lady. Killer.

5. So many options

From the classic clog to fashionable sneakers, Crocs offer so many options that are just too good to pass up on. They have fur lined boots, wedges, sandals, loafers, Maryjane's, glow in the dark, Minion themed, and best of all, CAMO! Where did your feet go?!

6. Affordable

Crocs: $30

Feeling like a boss: Priceless

7. Two words: Adventure Straps

Because you know that when you move the strap from casual mode chillin' in the front to behind the heal, it's like using a shell on Mario Cart.

8. Crocs cares

Okay, but for real, Crocs is a great company because they have donated over 3 million pairs of crocs to people in need around the world. Move over Toms, the Croc is in the house.

9. Stylish AF

The boys will be coming for you like Steve Irwin.

Who cares what the haters say, right? Wear with pride, and go forth in style.

Cover Image Credit: Chicago Tribune

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From One Nerd To Another

My contemplation of the complexities between different forms of art.

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Aside from reading Guy Harrison's guide to eliminating scientific ignorance called, "At Least Know This: Essential Science to Enhance Your Life" and, "The Breakthrough: Immunotherapy and the Race to Cure Cancer" by Charles Graeber, an informative and emotional historical account explaining the potential use of our own immune systems to cure cancer, I read articles and worked on my own writing in order to keep learning while enjoying my winter break back in December. I also took a trip to the Guggenheim Museum.


I wish I was artistic. Generally, I walk through museums in awe of what artists can do. The colors and dainty details simultaneously inspire me and remind me of what little talent I posses holding a paintbrush. Walking through the Guggenheim was no exception. Most of the pieces are done by Hilma af Klint, a 20th-century Swedish artist expressing her beliefs and curiosity about the universe through her abstract painting. I was mostly at the exhibit to appease my mom (a K - 8th-grade art teacher), but as we continued to look at each piece and read their descriptions, I slowly began to appreciate them and their underlying meanings.


I like writing that integrates symbols, double meanings, and metaphors into its message because I think that the best works of art are the ones that have to be sought after. If the writer simply tells you exactly what they were thinking and how their words should be interpreted, there's no room for imagination. An unpopular opinion in high school was that reading "The Scarlet Letter" by Nathaniel Hawthorne was fun. Well, I thought it was. At the beginning of the book, there's a scene where Hawthorne describes a wild rosebush that sits just outside of the community prison. As you read, you are free to decide whether it's an image of morality, the last taste of freedom and natural beauty for criminals walking toward their doom, or a symbol of the relationship between the Puritans with their prison-like expectations and Hester, the main character, who blossoms into herself throughout the novel. Whichever one you think it is doesn't matter, the point is that the rosebush can symbolize whatever you want it to. It's the same with paintings - they can be interpreted however you want them to be.


As we walked through the building, its spiral design leading us further and further upwards, we were able to catch glimpses of af Klint's life through the strokes of her brush. My favorite of her collections was one titled, "Evolution." As a science nerd myself, the idea that the story of our existence was being incorporated into art intrigued me. One piece represented the eras of geological time through her use of spirals and snails colored abstractly. She clued you into the story she was telling by using different colors and tones to represent different periods. It felt like reading "The Scarlet Letter" and my biology textbook at the same time. Maybe that sounds like the worst thing ever, but to me it was heaven. Art isn't just art and science isn't just science. Aspects of different studies coexist and join together to form something amazing that will speak to even the most untalented patron walking through the museum halls.

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