I was a TFM girl, and this is what I learned.
One bite — everyone knows the rules.
Unless you’re pretty much half naked or shotgunning a beer in a bikini on social media. Then you’ll be getting multiple “bites.” Since you're basically a piece of meat.
If you’ve ever scrolled through the TFM girls Instagram page, you know exactly what I mean when I say it’s basically the digital version of Sports Illustrated except instead of a camera crew you have your best friend’s iPhone photography skills, and instead of Kate Upton, you have a compilation of college girls trying to find that perfect booty angle on the beach in Cabo (or in my case Lake Michigan — but that’s irrelevant and kinda sad).
I was in shock when I made it on the page for the first time. I sent in a few pictures just for kicks because, at the time, being on the page was like some sort of status symbol. Especially since my boyfriend at the time was in a fraternity.
So yeah, it was a huge ego boost.
Everything was fine and dandy in the beginning. Hundreds of followers and likes started piling up on my account. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t enjoying the attention. Like I said — huge ego boost. I made it onto the page two more times.
Then it got weird.
Really weird.
Nobody really talks about the DMs or comments you receive from being featured on the page. Some were rude. Others were just plain disgusting. Here are a few examples:
“She is probably just the token hot friend.”
“Dude, I would totally hit that.”
“Nah man, she’s too muscular.”
“She probably has a butter-face since she’s turned away from the camera.”
“Hey baby, are you looking for a sugar daddy?”
“I’ll give you $2,000 if you send me a pair of worn underwear. Please.”
“Oh the things that I would do to you.”
“Ehh I give her about a six.”
“Eight point five.”
Immediately, my self-worth plummeted to a number on a ranking scale. The messages kept coming. The amount of revulsion I felt kept climbing. The comments got to my head. My confidence was damaged. It was no longer an ego boost. My self-worth and confidence plummeted from online harassment.
I put myself on display in an online zoo of men (and women) who either wanted to insult me or get with me.
Neither was ideal.
The audience that I drew in automatically assumed I was, you know, down for whatever. However, I know that I am so much more than an object. I am so much more than just a girl in a bikini or tiny Halloween costume. I am more than just my body.
It turns out I attend one of the best public universities in the nation. I have made the Dean’s List almost every semester. I have accomplished so much in the past few years both academically and professionally.
And no, I don’t count being on the TFM girls page being one of those accomplishments.
They aren’t the only ones, either. There are hundreds of Instagram pages that feature thousands of girls on a daily basis. So power to you if you are featured. I applaud you, honestly. In their eyes, you have what it takes to be the face of their immense platform.
Just ask yourself: are you ready for what’s next?
