Us Missourians, we don't stick together. Well, the liberal Missourians won't, but the others? Well, you either know each other from church, school, a mutual dealer, or someone you know is dating/dated someone you know. You'll run into about a hundred people you've seen before at Silver Dollar City, but only two of them you actually like. The other 98 you pretend to like because it's expected. Not that you'd tell anyone that.
Me? I'm from Ozark, Mo. We are affectionately called HoZark, and are best known for being the 900th high school in Missouri whose team mascot is the tiger.
Missourians, we don't stick together. But, we are all equipped to deal with the deer-season, hick-talking, and mind-numbing questions and comments about the 417 state.
1. "What is Silver Dollar City?"
Well, it's an amusement park that basically everyone likes to pretend they still like, but mostly it's become a tourist spot in Branson that contains about 2,000 living, breathing people who ride the roller coasters famously entitled "Wildfire" and "Powder Keg," each of which has an annoyingly fake Southern accent that tells you to buckle the heck up and deal with the consequences of having made the decision to get on the thing. It's full of blacksmiths, construction workers, college women in heavy, long skirts, and men in overalls who are there to "help" you. It gets boring, but we still go. There's not much else for us to do...
2. "Where is Joplin?"
If you're not familiar, Joplin experienced a devastating tornado a couple years back. It was picked up on the national news and destroyed many, many peoples lives, homes, and careers. To answer the question: Joplin is located in southern Jasper County, and the lasting effects still hang around today. I still remember that night, and the following day. Even Obama came.
3. "Are you Republican?"
It's a well-known fact that Missouri is full of staunch Republicans, and the downtown Springfield Square is a hot spot for homophobic dimwits, but the question is always mouthed off. Missouri isn't culturally diverse, nor is it really a healthy and safe spot for those who want to grow as individuals, but I hope the day will come that Missouri rides the wave of being accepting, and you know, tolerable.
4. "Did Springfield really pass that law?"
If the law you're referring to is the LGBT Rights Ordinance Law, which was also picked up nationally by the news, than yes, there was a time that it had passed. Fortunately for the progressive train, the law was repealed in April of 2015. It gained a lot of attention based in the city, and its surrounding counties. It was even picked up by BuzzFeed.
5. "What do you think about guns?"
This is a question pretty much every person from the South gets. It's typically easy to answer in your own words, but the fact that Missourians are lumped together as a bunch of gun-crazy
Republicans isn't fair to the ones who aren't. But, as a person who grew up in the Ozarks, it's pretty much what you think.
6. "Are you guys really the Meth state?"
This is my favorite question. This is the one I have been asked the most since moving to Chicago, and it's always an easy one to answer: Yes, we are.
7. "What is Sucker Days?"
Sucker Days (at least for Missouri) is based in Nixa, Mo. and is basically a huge flippin' fish fry that people go nuts over for some reason. Fish is disgusting anyway, but fry it in the South and it's all beer battered.
8. "What does 'Show-Me' state mean?"
Hell if we know.
9. "Ferguson," or "University of Missouri."
People from Missouri like to avoid talking about this stuff as much as possible. That's unfortunate for many reasons. I will direct you to a link of what happened in Ferguson here and Mizzou here.
10. "St. Louis or Kansas City?"
Kansas City. Hands down. Sorry.

























