How can a 4.5 x 6 foot box that you ride for maybe 20 seconds bring so much awkwardness into one’s life? It has forced people since the beginning of time to dread the elevator for all of its strange odors, forced conversations and personal space violations. Here are the ten people that you have undoubtedly met during an elevator ride.
1. The Close Talker.
Actually, anyone talking on an elevator is a close talker by nature of the 4.5 x 6 foot box you are standing in.
2. The Really Loud Headphones.
Elevators just do not play music like they used to. Thankfully, this kind soul thought to turn his headphones all the way up so we could all listen to his music.
3. The Awkward Eye Contact.
Just stare at your phone because at any moment Eye Contact could turn into Close Talker or even the dreaded Jokester of number seven.
4. The When did You Last Shower?
Have you ever been in an elevator that smelled especially good? No. That is all thanks to the Sans-Shower Guy who rode in the elevator eight rides ago. His stench lives on in elevator infamy.
5. The One on the Phone.
No, she cannot hear you now? You are in an elevator that happens to be inside of a multiple story concrete structure.
6. The Small Talker.
The weather is awful, and I agree, hopefully the sun will come out sometime this week. I don’t know anything about sports, so please do not ask. I am terrible at small talk, and it stresses me out.
7. The Jokester.
There’s no need for humor on this ride. “Riding an elevator has a lot of ups
and downs.” Cue uncomfortable laughter from the rest of the occupants.
8. The Group of People Still Carrying on a Conversation.
You might as well ask all of us for advice because we now know exactly what you’re talking about, and we just feel left out.
9. The Couple.
Just add alcohol, and you’re in for even more of a treat.
10. The Person Carrying Take-out.
Honestly, this should be an advertising technique. Each time I ride in an elevator with someone who is carrying pizza or Chinese, I automatically want to order said take-out as soon as possible. What is it about elevators that make take-out food smell so much more attractive?
11. Christian Grey.
Just kidding, I have never come across Mr. Grey on an elevator, and I one hundred percent do not understand his elevator fetish.
Then there are the rest of us, just checking every social media account possible to avoid the very situation we would not be in, had we chosen to take the three flights of stairs in the first place.
