I was raised Catholic. I went to Catholic schools my entire life (until college, that is). So, as you may expect, I've been to my fair shares of masses. Today was my first mass (a funeral mass, to be precise) in several years. I walked into church thinking I had what it took to play the part of a practicing Catholic, but quickly realized that there were quite a few nuances that I'd forgotten about. Here are ten of the things I noticed that I had forgotten since I stopped going to church.
1. Hymnals
While I can still bust out a good "We Are Many Parts" or "Here I Am, Lord," I still would've needed the hymnal for the more obscure songs. I forgot about the little buggers until the cantor said in a smooth, mechanical voice, "Please turn to number seventy-five in your hymnals." I felt like I was in school and about to be called on to read a passage about the readings I hadn't been listening to.
2. All the kneeling
OH MY GOD THERE'S SO MUCH KNEELING. You're standing, then you're kneeling, then you're sitting, then you're kneeling, then you're standing, and then you're kneeling again! I don't remember all that kneeling from when I was a kid! Maybe I just notice it now because it hurts my knees and I'm not an invincible ten-year-old.
3. Sign of the peace
When the priest says "Let us offer each other the sign of peace" and the person in front of me turned to shake my hand, I was momentarily stunned. I thought "it's the middle of mass and you are breaking decorum." The sign of the peace is just such a weird little break in the orderliness of the mass that I totally forgot about.
4. The smell of incense
Ahhhhhhh. If you've never smelled incense, just imagine burying your face in a pile of your great-great-great grandfather's clothes and taking a big whiff.
5. How to get communion
As the communion procession began and it got closer and closer to being my turn to step into the aisle, I realized that I had no recollection of how to take communion. Did you bow and hold out your hands? Wait, wasn't there some sort of password? "Amen?" I couldn't remember. I skipped communion to avoid embarrassing myself.
6. How weird 'the blood' is
The priest at this mass referred to the communion wine as "the precious blood" in a passing remark, and it struck me how strangely morbid that sounds. We're all going up in droves to consume the blood of a dead man?
7. The tune of the songs
I forgot that depending on the parish you're at, the tunes to the songs you think you know could be changed. When the cantor begins to sing "Hosanna in the Highest" and you think you remember how it goes, just think: they might use a different melody than the one you know and love.
8. How to listen to a homily
I've had a few classes recently in which the professor lectures and then randomly calls on a student to answer a question - even if their hand wasn't raised. During the homily, I was super focused because I was so afraid that the priest was going to call on me and I would have to admit to the whole church that I hadn't been paying attention.
9. How creepy the Nicene Creed sounds
When you forget most of the words to the Nicene Creed and are then forced to stand silently as the rest of the building chants a monotoned prayer, you realize how surreal the creed sounds. They literally say "I look forward to the resurrection of the dead." In context, that makes sense, but when heard randomly in a slur of other statements it can sound pretty creepy.
10. How LONG mass is
Mass is way longer and way more exhausting than I remembered it being. People that go to church every week - you have my admiration!
