Why I Will Teach My Daughter Not to Wait

Why I Will Teach My Daughter Not to Wait

Purity comes in many forms.
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I don't really want kids. I've never really been into the idea of having kids. (My mother disagrees with me.)

But if I were to have a child...particularly a daughter.

(Jesus take the wheel.)

I would teach her not to wait.

For anything or anyone.

I would tell her not to wait around for a boy to come sweeping in and save her. I would make it a point to teach her that the world has tried to convince women that they need men to feel complete and that that is a big fat, ugly lie.

That she is too full of depth and honesty to "play dumb" for some insecure boy.

I would not let her grow up with the "sleeping beauty" mentality, thinking and expecting some guy to waltz up the ivory tower to wake her up.

I would tell her she is already awake and that she is full of fire that would melt that ivory tower to the ground.

And then I would tell her that when she sorts through the boys that have tried to knock on her door and been denied, that the right one will come. When he does that she needs to thoroughly understand emotional purity. She needs to know that purity comes in many forms and that emotional purity is equally as important as physical purity.

And then she would ask, "Mom, what is emotional purity?"

I would say, "Baby, emotional purity means that you know who you are and what your heart wants. While knowing what your heart wants, knowing that you are in control of your feelings. Your feelings don't own you. You own them."

I would tell her that she is not allowed to hide her true self for other people's comfort.

She is a round house kick to the face of conformity and that that is the best thing about her.

I would tell her if there is an adventure in her heart that she should do everything in her power to make it happen. I will tell her to rally her resources, seek advice from mentors and close friends and then to go fight for what she wants.

I would tell her that the world has been waiting for her since the beginning of time.

I would tell her that she is 1,000 bouquets of roses and a million adventure novels wrapped up into one.

I would sit her in front of the bathroom mirror, like my mother did for me, and make her repeat over and over the things that she loves about herself, even if she didn't necessarily believe them at the time. She needs to hear that vocally and I'm going to make sure she does.

After our talk, I would hug her tight and say,

"The world is yours. Go get it. I'll be right behind you the whole time."


Cover Image Credit: Sydney Davis

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An Open Letter to the Best Friend I Didn't See Coming

Some people come into your life and change you forever—thanks, bestie.
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Dear best friend,

I wasn't expecting you when God placed you in my life. I had my friends. I had my people. I wasn't exactly open to the idea of new meaningful friendships because I had the ones I needed, and it didn't seem like I really needed anybody new.

Thank God that was false. Sometimes you meet people and you just know that you're going to be good friends with. Sometimes you meet people and you realize that there is no such thing as chance. I think God has a funny way of making it seem as if the things that happen to us are by chance, but honestly, that’s a load of crap. If the biggest moments of our lives were left up to chance, then I believe that would make God out to seem as if he didn’t care. It would make it seem as if He was truly abandoning me and making me face some of my most important seasons fully isolated. But you, best friend, are a true testament to the fact that God doesn’t just leave such important aspects up to chance. Thank you for taking a chance on our friendship, and thank you for allowing me to take a chance on what I didn’t realize would be the most impactful friendship in my entire life.

Thank you for being real with me. Thank you for not sugar coating things. Thank you for telling me when I have a bad attitude. Thank you for loving me through my mistakes. Thank you for supporting me in my decisions, even if it isn’t always the decision you would make. Thank you for wanting the best for me, and for making that your true intent behind the words that you say to me, whether they be constructive criticism or encouragement.

Thank you for being a goof with me. Thank you for putting me first. Thank you for seeing the importance of our friendship. Thank you for making time in your schedule for us to just sit and do homework, eat Mexican food, or sit on the porch and listen to music that emotionally wrecks you.

You’re one of a kind. You’re a shoulder to lean on. You’re a safe place. You’re a free spirit. You’re rough and tough, but your heart melts for the people you love and it’s obvious. You’re more than meets the eye. You are worth getting to know. You are worth loving. You pursue people. You are passionate about your future. You are everything that a person needs, and I really thank God that for some reason you continue to choose to be in my life. Thank you for literally dragging me up my mountains of fear when I want to stay exactly where I am at and wallow in the sadness. You bring joy—true joy—wherever you go. You are my best friend, confidant, and biggest fan. You will be the Maid of Honor, Godmother, and fun Aunt.

I used to think lifelong friendships weren’t really a thing. It just seemed like people always grew apart and forever was never a point that was attainable. Best friends forever is a cliché phrase that is continuously overused nowadays (sometimes, I even used to make light of it), but thanks for making that a reality. You are truly the best friend I could have asked for. So thank you for it all. You make life more fun, and I couldn’t thank God more for making an incredible human, friends with me.

I love you, pal!

JQ

Cover Image Credit: Julia Dee Qualls

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Thank You, Momma

When I was just a baby, she took me in as her own and loved me like I was hers.

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Thank You, Momma.

Everyone hears about the moms that are the best friends, the evil parents, the quiet ones, the overprotective ones, and so on. Well, my mom is the best mother I could've met and asked for.

"Met?" you may be asking. Yes, met. When I was just a baby, she took me in as her own and loved me like I was hers. When I was 16, she finally adopted me and I was SO happy. Here I am, 19 years old, living my best life, and it's all because of her. It's truly been an experience that only I can fully understand.

Thank you, momma, for everything. Thank you for being my very best friend and showing me what life is like being a truly independent woman. You're the greatest thing to have walked into my life and brought me so many amazing people in it with you. With your help, I have become the person I am today and know that I am doing the right thing following my dreams. You always told me to be myself and do what makes me happy, and here I am still cheering and dancing like I always have, doing the things I love. Not only are you my mom but my best friend and #1 fan too. I love you so so much momma!!

"I'm glad that in God's design he had it so my path crossed yours"

Cover Image Credit:

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