Why I Will Teach My Daughter Not to Wait

Why I Will Teach My Daughter Not to Wait

Purity comes in many forms.

I don't really want kids. I've never really been into the idea of having kids. (My mother disagrees with me.)

But if I were to have a child...particularly a daughter.

(Jesus take the wheel.)

I would teach her not to wait.

For anything or anyone.

I would tell her not to wait around for a boy to come sweeping in and save her. I would make it a point to teach her that the world has tried to convince women that they need men to feel complete and that that is a big fat, ugly lie.

That she is too full of depth and honesty to "play dumb" for some insecure boy.

I would not let her grow up with the "sleeping beauty" mentality, thinking and expecting some guy to waltz up the ivory tower to wake her up.

I would tell her she is already awake and that she is full of fire that would melt that ivory tower to the ground.

And then I would tell her that when she sorts through the boys that have tried to knock on her door and been denied, that the right one will come. When he does that she needs to thoroughly understand emotional purity. She needs to know that purity comes in many forms and that emotional purity is equally as important as physical purity.

And then she would ask, "Mom, what is emotional purity?"

I would say, "Baby, emotional purity means that you know who you are and what your heart wants. While knowing what your heart wants, knowing that you are in control of your feelings. Your feelings don't own you. You own them."

I would tell her that she is not allowed to hide her true self for other people's comfort.

She is a round house kick to the face of conformity and that that is the best thing about her.

I would tell her if there is an adventure in her heart that she should do everything in her power to make it happen. I will tell her to rally her resources, seek advice from mentors and close friends and then to go fight for what she wants.

I would tell her that the world has been waiting for her since the beginning of time.

I would tell her that she is 1,000 bouquets of roses and a million adventure novels wrapped up into one.

I would sit her in front of the bathroom mirror, like my mother did for me, and make her repeat over and over the things that she loves about herself, even if she didn't necessarily believe them at the time. She needs to hear that vocally and I'm going to make sure she does.

After our talk, I would hug her tight and say,

"The world is yours. Go get it. I'll be right behind you the whole time."

Cover Image Credit: Sydney Davis

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A Letter To MY Future Daughter

It is my goal that one day my daughter will feel as safe and happy as me because of a mother's great care.

To My Future Daughter,

The world is a scary place, but never let it get the best of you. As you grow older, never let go of the thought when you were small that the world is a beautiful place. Although some days are ugly and may seem unfair, you will always find the light into a better day.

When it comes to schoolwork, you are going to fail plenty of tests and you are going to ace plenty of tests. Either way, your grades do not define you, but I encourage you to work hard as there is no better feeling than succeeding and knowing a lot about something. Additionally, you will consistently hear that you should do what you love and there is nothing more true than that.

Sometimes you begin chasing what you think you might love and then you realize that it just was not meant to be, and that is OK. Not everyone can be a doctor, artist, accountant or whatever it might be. You might not know what it is you are meant to do in that moment, but I guarantee that you will find it.

When you do get there, the happiness will never escape.

When it comes to taking care of yourself, remember that your body is your temple (sure, you can laugh at that statement). Treat it with respect and love yourself unconditionally. Not every day will you look in the mirror and love what you see, but I can guarantee you it is just a bad day. If you do find your love fading, though, never be scared to seek help. When you allow for unhealthy things to bottle up, you will break down. Keep your head held high and remember that you are beautiful and there is nothing more amazing than realizing there is only one of you and you are awesome.

When it comes to your parents, you will hate them and you will love them and the cycle will always turn. At the end of the day, remember that your parents will continuously love you through all of your decisions and only want the best for you. As I go through my own life and watch my friends and myself go through a good time or a difficult time, I reach out to my own mother always. There is no one’s opinion that I value more than my own mother's. She is wise and has gone through it all … never be afraid to reach out and ask for help or tell her about your day.

One day you will be in college and wish you could see her everyday just like before.

When it comes to boys, be yourself and understand that heartache is one of the biggest challenges that you will overcome. It might not be overnight, but you will get there and the successful feeling that comes with it is unbelievable. Remind yourself also that your prince charming will not be the first boy to cross your path … as you grow older, your interests change and be open to taking time for yourself and friends to figure out who you are.

Oh, and NEVER let a boy get in between you and your friends.

As someone who is young and still has a long life ahead of me, it is my hope that in the far, far future when I am ready to begin a family that my children grow up happy and safe as my mother has always made me feel.

Cover Image Credit: Kirsten Ocwieja

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