We've all heard the sayings that "you always want what you can't have," or "the grass is always greener on the other side." I have always had thick curly hair, and for twenty-two years, I have struggle trying to tame the beast. I've always wished I had straight hair. A lot of people with straight hair wonder why I would do this, but they don't realize just what kind of problems we curly haired people face. Here are just a few curly hair problems. I'm sure some of you can relate.
Bobby Pin Abyss:
All girls go through bobby pins like nobody's business. They get lost easier than anything, and we find them in the weirdest of places. That's normal, but have you ever found bobby pins in your hair after not having used them for a few days? I have. I've had bobby pins wash out in the shower because they got lost somewhere in the abyss of my curly hair. Not only do we absorb these little pieces of metal, but we need a LOT. And I mean, A LOT. We buy a whole pack for one hairstyle.
The Curl-Lacker's guilt trip:
This just grinds my gears. I have had so many people over the years try and make me feel guilty for not absolutely adoring my curls. I get the, "Oh I would give anything to have your hair" comments, and the "you really should appreciate the fact that your hair does something because some people pay a lot of money for curly hair." I'm sorry, honey. I get that a lot of people like curly hair, and they pay a lot to get cute curls. I like cute curls too! But if you woke up with the monster on my head eating yours every morning like it does mine only to yield stubborn, uneven, and frizzy curls that in no way resemble the expensive perms you are referring to, then you would complain too. My natural does not look like your chemical.
Curling your curls:
I talk about curling my hair with people sometimes, and they get so confused! "Why do you need to curl your hair? Isn't it already curly?" Yes. My hair is already curly, but when you actually like curls and are tired of straightening your hair, you just have to take a curling iron to the half ringlet, half flattened wavy mess that you call "curls." The most annoying part is that most of the time it still comes out frizzy because you can't straighten it and then curl it. Because our hair doesn't want to stay straight when we want it to, but heaven forbid we try to give it back some of it's curl once it's straight. That crap doesn't hold.
Curl Consistency (or lack thereof):
I kind of addressed this one previously, but it really is a problem. People think naturally curly hair means perfectly consistent and beautiful curls all the way around like you see in TV commercials and magazines. I'm sorry, but most days when you have curly hair, you wake up looking like this...
And don't even try brushing it...
Humidity:
Do I even need to elaborate on this one? POOF!!!! Enough said.
Ponytails:
This isn't a big problem for me anymore because I have short hair now, but I broke so many ponytail holders just trying to get my thick curly mop out of my face. They either end up broken or stuck in your hair in some ugly little rat's nest that you almost need a chainsaw to dismantle.
Hair Product:
As if our hair wasn't tangled and nasty enough as it is, everyone suggests adding product! I'm sorry, but mousse makes my hair crunchier than Lay's potato chips, and hairspray and gel just make it hard and sticky. The tangles are hard enough to brush through without an extra layer of gunk.
Morning Prep Time:
Oh goodness! Make sure you carve out an extra two hours in the morning just to make sure your hair is presentable. If you slept on it wet without putting it in a braid, you know exactly what I mean. You either take the time to straighten that crap or start from scratch and hope that it dries without too much frizz. You never know what to expect from the beast, so you better have time to handle whatever it throws your way.
"Why don't you brush it?"
People always say (about my frizzy curly hair that has been growing on my head my entire life) "You should just run a brush through it, that will make it look so much better!" Wow! What a concept!!! I wish I had thought of that twenty years ago! Why hadn't I thought of running a brush through it? There must be some reason I don't do that... I wonder what it could be. Oh yea! See above picture.
I won't lie. It's not all horrible, because there are days when our hair is on point, but the struggle to get it there is more than most realize.
These are only a few of the many problems we have, and no doubt, some of you will still persist in your claims that we really have it better in the hair arena, but until you step into the ring with the beast, you will remain a misunderstanding bystander. It's okay though! We still love you straight-haired people. In fact, your naivety is quite adorable at times. But seriously though, you guys have it easy. Peace and love to all my curly girls! Now go tame your beast!
