Why I've Decided To Take A Year Off From Relationships

I’ve been a “relationship girl” since eighth grade. Since then, I’ve had 6 relationships- 4 boyfriends, 2 serious ones and almost 0 time single. Although I’ve spent years with people I’m no longer with now, I don’t see these relationships as a bad thing or as a waste of time. Each relationship allowed me to learn and get deeply close with another human being; I consider this closeness to be a beautiful thing. I’m happy to have experienced and shared a part of others lives. The more I learned about each person the more I came to respect their existence and value their personality. To these people that have given me days of their lives I have much thanks to give back. Their influences have made each new relationship more beautiful and more deeply appreciated. I much look forward to falling in love again and having a new life to learn and grow with.

However, the reason I am deciding to take this break is because I believe that it is crucial to have a healthy relationship with oneself, and in some respects, I’ve failed this. I selfishly haven’t given myself enough time. I thought that time spent with someone else would somehow be better and more fun and I would choose being with them over just me every time. Being in a relationship gave me a confidence that I was unable to find alone for far too long. Being with someone meant that the hunt for new love would cease and that I was no longer alone.

This unfortunate mindset stems from societies definition of alone. The words’ connotation is almost always negative when in truth; it really doesn’t have to be. The word “alone” as defined by Webster’s dictionary simply means, “Separated”. To be separated from others does not imply loneliness. As human beings we will find ourselves to part from one another quite often and we must find the strength in our self to be okay with this fact of life. In truth I haven’t mastered this “okay” yet, I still feel reliant on others sometimes and crave the closeness that I use to be surrounded by, but things are getting better. I now feel safe in my own arms and warm in my own bed. I am getting more confident and comfortable with my single-self everyday. I find myself relaxing in my day and looking forward to the future that I craft for myself.

This break will serve as a refreshment period. This is a time for learning from my own experiences and going on my own journey to learn the answers of the questions we ask so much of others. With this wave of positive thinking, I encourage more people to go against the old ways and to stop looking for love. We as humans crave companionship by nature but companionship doesn’t have to define us. Be your own person, live your life uninfluenced and see where the independence takes you.