As I pulled open the drawer to my dresser, I saw the glimpse of a simple golden necklace... it was a thin chain with a tiny crucifix that rested in the middle of it. I have had this necklace tucked away in my drawer since high school. It has taken the trips to and from college, yet I have never worn it. Instead, I have been wearing the same Tiffany blue necklace I had gotten for 5 years.
But today, I saw it, took of the Tiffany blue heart, and put on the crucifix. I look in the mirror. Looking down at this necklace that radiated back at me, my heart was reminded of what I had been missing, who I had not seen, who I have not been wearing on my chest and living for in my life.
I had gotten used to not wearing my faith. I had gotten used to a life that did not take the time to slow down and spend time with the one who gave me the breaths I breathe.
Since my spirit touched this earth, God has been marking me. With each day that I walk the soil of this earth, he is marking me.
I have been marked with the stories of struggle, but also the stories of incredible beauty. I have seen the tears of the purest form of love, and the tears of heartbreak in those I would give my life for. It was in all of these years, up to this moment I spent in the mirror, that I have been marked.
Looking closer, I could see the faint freckles along my chest that were from the "sun kisses" of all of those days spent on the boat on the lake. I could see the wrinkles forming around my eyes, and the scars on my hands from rough housing or playing lacrosse... all of these marks had no comparison to the wrinkles, scars that lined my heart. But, it wasn't until I had slowed down enough to put on this cross, and spend time with my maker, that I saw the marks on my heart.
Take the time to look, and listen. Take the time to wear your heart on surface of your skin, and allow God to show you the ways in which he is marking you with his story in you. Look at the wrinkles that line your smile, study the lines across the palms of your hands... these are the marks that God crafted you with. There are marks in your heart just as the ones in your skin, and there are folds to your spirit that reflect the incredible work you are, just as you are. These marks are the pathways, the alley ways, to connect with others. It is built in experience, and it is through the experiences of
The small crucifix that rests on my chest is a reminder that I know my maker, and I know the ways in which he has marked my heart. Each day, I take up my cross, and wear it close to my heart, because I know that he is using my life, and my spirit for something so much bigger than myself.
Then he said to them all: "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it" Luke 9: 23-25.
The Influential And Promising Messages From Taylor Swift's 'reputation' Album
How she has helped through the most difficult time in my life.
Taylor Swift has been known in the past year to have a lot of negative life events from her sexual assault court case, losing lots of friends and surrounded by playboys as described in her "reputation" album, and recently receiving backlash for announcing a political endorsement for Democratic candidates in her home state of Tennessee. Through these mishaps, Taylor reminded us again that she is not only a star but just an ordinary person.
Distracted by the whirlwind of college applications and broken friendships, it wasn't until the middle of my senior year of high school that I started listening to her new reputation album. As I started listening, there were some of the concepts I didn't understand until a couple months after my life had fallen into shambles beyond my control. I then realized the magnitude of similar things Taylor and I had gone through and how listening to the reputation album helped me get through the hardest times in my life. It taught me lots of life lessons I will never forget.
1. Play the Game
"The Game Of Life" on Flickr
Life is all about playing the game, hence "The Game Of Life." Have a plan for anything that comes your way.
2. People will be intimidated of you constantly
It seems easier than ever for people to be intimidated or perceived by others as threatening. Therefore, people will do and say anything to hurt you, exclude you, and seem superior. This intimidation can prevent you from making meaningful relationships by your self-identity such as, what you wear or how put-together you look. In return, this can make some people jealous and make condescending comments that try to lower your confidence. In high school, I felt people were always intimidated of me by the nice clothes that I wore to school or driving a nice car. This wasn't imagined, it was noticeable. I come from a middle-class family, who is now split and has to take out loans to pay for my college. I want people to know there is much more than what you see on the outside. Since going to college, I haven't been stereotyped as the rich girl or put on a pedestal for that title and it has been one of the most relieving experiences. I feel like an ordinary person and the result is really great.
3. It's OK to be yourself with a squished reputation
Currently, as a society that has chosen profit over morality, people feel like they shouldn't have feelings. For example, people gossiping about others to an extreme point where people are afraid to be themselves, toxic relationships, and a consistent worry about what people are saying about others. You are allowed to be yourself and have feelings no matter how bad life gets. For me, it was going to therapy to get over several bitchy choir girls that attempted to spread false rumors about me to my entire high school, which made my senior year unbearable. Too many changes and negative experiences in my life came too soon and I didn't know what to do. Find support where none is given and don't be ashamed to get help from a therapist.
4. Just because someone hurt you, doesn't mean you have to hit back twice as hard
You may have heard this once before, but it's the little things that make a difference. That doesn't necessarily matter but could make a difference in forming your opinion. Decide what is worth acting on and the tough comments you have to swallow or move on. Everything isn't a competition or a power struggle. Two wrongs don't make a right. It is important to always be the bigger person.
5. Be done with playboys
unsplash.com
It's a phrase ladies have heard time and time again, but this time I mean it indefinitely. In high school, I was always a playboys focus of coping homework, being cheated off of, or texting, Snapchatting or calling at the last hour. Playboys are toxic because they never take you seriously and always manipulate. Personally, I've encountered enough manipulative people in my life where I don't have time to wait until the last second to reply to something. After I lost all of my friends my senior year of high school, I began talking to a guy I added on Snapchat one day. One thing led to another and we began FaceTiming every night. I slowly realized I was being manipulated by him asking what I was wearing and everything about what I was doing. At the time, my confidence was at an all-time low and I finally gained enough to cut off all ties with the guy. I blocked his number and on all my social media accounts. Now that I'm in college, life moves fast, and developing deep, meaningful relationships are important to me. There is nothing deep and meaningful about playboys. Know your self-worth.
6. Toxic people are done
unsplash.com
The best songs on the reputation album that describe this point are, "So It Goes…" and "Getaway Car." Time's up for toxic people. People stay so long in toxic relationships because they think it will get better, and it never does. Life is too short to indefinitely with people that hurt you because you think that no one else will help you or be willing to make new friends. I shouldn't have stayed with a couple of my friends that kept excluding me from gatherings out of the blue. I shouldn't have kept talking to that one guy that insisted on knowing every detail about me life. I shouldn't have kept talking to that guy that insisted I sit on his lap in my high school physics class. I shouldn't have kept talking to that guy that put a condom on my desk and said that I should have sex with another guy in my high school physics class. In all of these cases, I should have left earlier, thinking that these people would be better than the other toxic people I ran into. Once you decide to all-time, you cut all ties. There's too much that we tolerate to make ourselves think that we are winning the game, when really its all about civility and respect. We all deserve more.
7. Continue to search for genuine, nice, and respectful people
This is easier said than done. Continue to search for genuine, nice, and respectful people. If we don't keep searching, we will feel that we have failed in making relationships. We must continue and make an effort towards people when all we may see are our own problems. I assure you there are nice people in this world, even though you may feel that everyone has failed you. We must be resilient.
8. We all need to care less about what others say about us
Taylor Swift's song, "Call it What You Want" relates to this point. In a nation full of ethical and unethical commentary, perceptions and opinions, it may seem hard not to care what others are saying about you constantly. However, when developing personal relationships, we expect people to talk about us a little at the least. But when this talk becomes gossipy and dangerously negative, we are forced to care a lot about what is being said. For example, I used to care a lot being said about me until I realized it was up to other people if they believed what was said.
I hope Taylor Swift's music has helped heal others and has created a more positive generation of role models. For these reasons, she will always be my spirit animal.