To the person who just had their heartbroken;
You will learn that not everyone in your life stays forever, that some people are meant only for a short time but in those short times they teach us important life lessons that we wouldn't have found in a lifetime with them.
I know you are hurting, but it is time to heal your hurt instead of continuing to ignore the fact that who you love, is not who you are staring at anymore. The person you fell in love with is no longer there. I know you miss them, but it's time you put down your phone and stop scrolling through social media trying to find something that relates to the pain you're feeling. No matter how many relatable pinterest quotes there are out there, there isn't one that will put words to the pain. Stop typing out messages, pouring your heart out, just to delete it. Stop typing out messages, telling them how you feel, to just get no response.
They are not your person, they are not your forever. I know it may not feel that way now but someone you were meant to love forever would not treat you the way they have. There will be one that comes along that will heal you, love you, and treat you the way you always known you deserved to be treated, even if right now that time feels far fetched. There will be someone who doesn't ignore your texts, who doesn't lie to you, who doesn't cheat on you, who don't yell or hurt you. There will be someone out there. When you are doubting that, remember how they made you feel and how badly you wanted it to be different. Remember how whenever you texted them you would never know if you would hear back in two minutes or two days. Remember how you would type paragraphs on paragraphs to get a half ass response or your feelings invalidated. Remember how much anxiety that causes, after hitting the send button. Remember the feeling in your chest you got when they hurt you, remember that sinking feeling as if your heart was being pulled right out of you and into their hands.
In the beginning, it will hurt. It's the kind of hurt that will leave you crying until you fall asleep at 2am with blood shot puffy eyes, a wet pillowcase and your nose blocked. the kind of hurt that follows you everywhere you go; that leaves you finding memories in every place you pass by; the kind of hurt that has you say and do things you never imagined like beg for someone who does not want to stay; the kind of hurt that makes you wonder why you weren't good enough, makes you wonder if they ever truly loved you, makes you wonder if maybe it's you. It's the kind of hurt that leaves your mother sitting outside your bedroom door to make sure in between gut wrenching cries that you breathe. It's the kind of hurt that leaves your friends wondering how they could of seen this coming. It's the kind of hurt that lingers.
You will have to delete all of their photos from your phone; even if you still have them memorized in your head. You will have to collect all the gifts they've given you, all the sweatshirts + t-shirts, all the cards and throw them away, burn them, donate them. You will have to stop checking their social media, stop looking to see what their doing as you lay in your bedroom in their sweatshirt they last gave to you.
You will have to heal, you have no choice.
You will have to forgive yourself.
The worst part about a breakup is not the breakup itself.. it's not the goodbye, it's the learning to live without them. And what fuels that pain even worse is that they are able to live without you without learning. But that doesn't matter, you have to do yourself a favor and only worry about you. Yes, you can waste your whole life waiting for that person to change, but for what? So you can continue to sleep next to them, but feel alone? So you can wonder why they won't treat you right? So you can wonder why they are still entertaining other people. So you can keep blaming yourself more and giving more and more, hoping that your effort will change things? You can do all that but you will still be in love with a lie, a dream, something that never will be. At one point; you will be left with only the choice to face the fact that no matter what you do it will never be enough.
That, this is not love. I know by now it seems like you will never move on from this, that this is the end of the road, that no matter how hard you try to get up and walk away it will never work. But it will. I know it hurts, I really do but remember how heartless they were, and then the following weeks after they had said their goodbyes, how inconsiderate and inconsistent they were of the way you felt and the way they felt, playing games, telling you they still were in love with you, but clearly not enough to commit.
You don't need closure. The last conversation you are desperate for is just you trying to give them one last chance to muster up an excuse for their behaviors, enough for you to excuse it and put back together your relationship with them. They aren't going to say they are sorry, They aren't sorry. They won't say sorry for the promises he has broken. All they will do, is talk you up and the next day not speak to you, but then weeks later hit you up like nothing happened. Because that is who they are. Sweetheart, they are not the person you fell in love with. You have fallen for the false reality that they painted for you. They tried to break you and made you pick up every shattered piece by yourself. They caused your heart to break, without a concern in the world but themself and their desires. They didn't love you the way you deserved. People like that can't love. They feed off of your pain that they see themselves giving you, knowing that you are hurting because of their own actions. Don't give it to them, don't allow their selfish desires to consume you. Take the weak moments you may have to remember; who made you feel so empty in the first place, who broke your heart?
It takes a while to come to terms with the fact that the person that you love no longer exists inside the body that you are staring at everyday. it takes a while to realize that sometimes being a good person only gives them someone to use and being patient and understanding only gives them a reason to keep deceiving you.
And when you realize these things, slowly the hurt will hurt less. You will start to see reason, understand why they did what they did or atleast that what they did wasn't your fault. You will know it takes two for a relationship and no matter how hard you could try to love enough for the both of you; it was not enough. you will learn that not everyone in your life stays forever, that some people are meant only for a short time but in those short times they teach us important life lessons that we wouldn't have found in a lifetime with them.
