5 Specific Things Only Auburn Students Will Understand
If you attend Auburn University, you can relate.
Auburn University is a very special place. Not only do we hold the pride of being a top-ranked SEC school, but we also excel in so many other areas as a community. Now, anyone who goes to Auburn knows this and would agree. The body of students at this school holds a special bond because of our shared experiences here together.
But some of these specific things are things that only Auburn Students would understand.
Dodging campaigners on the concourse.
Imagine this: it's a nice, warm sunny day. You are happily strolling along the concourse to your class in Haley Center and a bubbly girl with a huge smile appears out of nowhere, handing you a piece of candy. You don't refuse because, well, its candy? So you take it gratefully and expect to be on your way.
But suddenly, five other bubbly girls in the same colored T-shirt begin to surround you in a rehearsed fashion as you grow slightly nervous and uneasy. The circle they formed is now closing in on you tighter and tighter. Together they shove Tootsie-Rolls and Hershey's kisses down your throat as they chant the name of their beloved candidate in your ear over and over until your vision starts to go blurry.
You panic and need a way out. You see your friend walking swiftly past you and you manage to break free of the circle and quickly run to safety next to her. Out of breath and confused, you ask her how she managed to make it past all the prowling campaigners untouched. She smirks at you and points to her earphones. Your eyes get big as you realize this new, and life-saving discovery.
The end.
OK, that was a bit dramatic, but not really. The concourse is a very dangerous place during campaigning season. You get lured in by smiles and fancy treats, and then next thing you know, you're fighting for your life to make it to class. It's truly a struggle. Like to the point where I've adopted the "headphones in the ears" trick because I've learned they won't even try to bother you if you do. And 50% of the time I'm not even listening to anything, I just have them in so I can survive the walk. Tactics are key.
Parking Services.
I mean I don't even have to explain this one, but I am.
Oh, how much we adore our sweet parking services. They regulate and protect this campus from the horrible reign of vehicular crime. Said no one, literally ever. Auburn parking services is a PAIN. IN. THE. BUTT. We might as well be paying them our tuition instead; since it calculates out to about that much anyway after all the ridiculous fees and tickets. I mean they truly look for ways to charge us money and make us miserable. You are never safe. They linger, they sit, and they wait. They pounce when you are weak and vulnerable. They wait until you are 10 minutes late for a test, frantically parking in the first available spot to sprint to class, then they make their move. You come back and, surprise! Your car is booted. Happy Monday!
But their ticketing isn't even the worst part. They charge a ridiculous amount of money for a close "parking spot on campus," until you come to the fun realization that the spot you paid $100 for isn't actually as close as you thought. It's in Timbuktu. So you have a 20 minute hike to class and by the time you enter your lecture you smell like socks and have chest pain. What a way to win the day!
But don't worry parking services, we will get our sweet revenge. Soon enough.
Construction.
Don't get me wrong, I am so happy that Auburn is continuing to grow and provide newer and nicer facilities for us to utilize as students. Very thoughtful and sweet of them. Our money is finally going towards something important, yay! But it's difficult to get excited about it when I'm dying of an upper respiratory infection as I walk to class. The dust and fumes will make a person already struggling to walk up a hill on campus (me), very out of breath and lethargic.
Now, I'm not going to blame this entirely on the dust and fumes, since my lack of exercise might have something to do with it, but I need something to make me feel a little bit better about myself okay? So whatever, we're sticking with it.
Professors who don't speak fluent English.
This is some sort of puzzling phenomenon that I will never quite understand. Hiring a professor to teach a 200-student lecture on a subject entirely in English, while knowing no English. Like when I say no English, I mean, no English. Not fluent. Communication done by hand gestures or luck of guessing. Now, you can imagine how frustrating this is when we pay so much money to attend a class to learn, but can't learn because we can't even understand. Honestly, it's not even the professor's fault. It's their higher-ups for placing them in a program where communicating with your students is essential and crucial in order to learn.
Especially in classes like chemistry, physics, bio, ethics, or literature where the material is already brutal to begin with. So the struggle of making it out of one of these classes alive with a foreign professor is very real, and very difficult. If you succeeded, you deserve a cookie. Or five. And if you haven't experienced this yet, well, good luck, Charlie.
Lowder.
I've heard lots of fascinating tales about this building on campus. Some say if you attend classes in Lowder, your IQ score raises 20 points automatically. Others say the toilets are made of gold, and the professors hand you warm towelettes as you enter class to take a seat in your assigned leather recliner for the semester. Some even say they have a closet full of business attire free-for-grabs to whoever may want it. And if you take it, you automatically become the Wolf of Wall Street. But I don't know, could just be a rumor. I sadly don't have the privilege to experience Lowder because I'm not a business major and calculating numbers makes me want to hide in a hole. But from the majority of people I've talked to, Lowder is a magical place. I'm truly glad that so many students find such joy in this building, since we are continuing to pay it off slowly, but surely, with our lovely tuition dollars.
War Eagle to that.
