Syllabus Week As Told By 'Bob's Burgers'

Syllabus Week As Told By 'Bob's Burgers'

The Belchers can explain feelings in ways we couldn't imagine.

We all knew it would come to an end. Spring semester, bring it on.

What better way to capture syllabus week than a little bit of Bobs Burgers?

It all starts with the struggle of getting up for that first class.

After walking to class, you have zero motivation to sit through it.

You need to woo that professor to get off the wait list. Maybe a nice flip of the hair and a warm smile will get you that permission code.

Quickly all of the welcome back emails get to you.

You told yourself that this was the semester you were going to get in shape.

...And keep your room clean.

But all you can really think about is how you'd much rather be lying on a beach somewhere.

Because we all know you aren't going to stick to that.

By the end of the week, your parents are texting you asking how classes went, and making sure you're on the road to straight A's.

But hey, we're sure as hell going to try

Cover Image Credit: The NY Post

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Sorry Not Sorry, My Parents Paid For My Coachella Trip

No haters are going to bring me down.

With Coachella officially over, lives can go back to normal and we can all relive Beyonce’s performance online for years to come. Or, if you were like me and actually there, you can replay the experience in your mind for the rest of your life, holding dear to the memories of an epic weekend and a cultural experience like no other on the planet.

And I want to be clear about the Beyonce show: it really was that good.

But with any big event beloved by many, there will always be the haters on the other side. The #nochella’s, the haters of all things ‘Chella fashion. And let me just say this, the flower headbands aren’t cultural appropriation, they’re simply items of clothing used to express the stylistic tendency of a fashion-forward event.

Because yes, the music, and sure, the art, but so much of what Coachella is, really, is about the fashion and what you and your friends are wearing. It's supposed to be fun, not political! Anyway, back to the main point of this.

One of the biggest things people love to hate on about Coachella is the fact that many of the attendees have their tickets bought for them by their parents.

Sorry? It’s not my fault that my parents have enough money to buy their daughter and her friends the gift of going to one of the most amazing melting pots of all things weird and beautiful. It’s not my fault about your life, and it’s none of your business about mine.

All my life, I’ve dealt with people commenting on me, mostly liking, but there are always a few that seem upset about the way I live my life.

One time, I was riding my dolphin out in Turks and Cacaos, (“riding” is the act of holding onto their fin as they swim and you sort of glide next to them. It’s a beautiful, transformative experience between human and animal and I really think, when I looked in my dolphin’s eye, that we made a connection that will last forever) and someone I knew threw shade my way for getting to do it.

Don’t make me be the bad guy.

I felt shame for years after my 16th birthday, where my parents got me an Escalade. People at school made fun of me (especially after I drove into a ditch...oops!) and said I didn’t deserve the things I got in life.

I can think of a lot of people who probably don't deserve the things in life that they get, but you don't hear me hating on them (that's why we vote, people). Well, I’m sick of being made to feel guilty about the luxuries I’m given, because they’ve made me who I am, and I love me.

I’m a good person.

I’m not going to let the Coachella haters bring me down anymore. Did my parents buy my ticket and VIP housing? Yes. Am I sorry about that? Absolutely not.

Sorry, not sorry!

Cover Image Credit: Kaycie Allen

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​Running A Theater Show, As Told By Dwight Schrute

Dwight knows the struggle techies go through.

Running a play or a musical is possibly one of the most frustrating and rewarding things anyone can do. There’s certainly something to be said for performing in a show, but running a show is a whole different battle. As it seems, Dwight Schrute knows the experience all too well.

1. When deciding whether or not you should touch a prop

NEVER touch the prop. Unless your job is to touch the prop. Any good prop master will establish early on that you very well might rather face the consequences of murder rather than touching a prop you weren’t supposed to.

2. When you get yelled at

Tensions run high during tech week and chances are, you could very well get the brunt of someone’s frustration. However, the show must go on and there’s no shortage of things to do during tech. You gotta hike up your big kid pants and get on with it.

3. When there are too many people hanging out backstage

You have to have some space to do your thing and when too many actors and bored technicians start hanging out in your space, things can get frustrating really quick. Get those unnecessary folk out of your area and back to where they belong.

4. When someone asks you to do them a favor

You have your own jobs, but you also have the last minute “Oh no, we don’t have this very specific item we need for this scene, we need someone to dash at full speed and get it” situation that needs to be remedied.

5. When your focus is killer

As a technician, you have to have the miraculous ability to focus on about 80 things at one time and do them all well. Once that impossible amount of focus is channeled into one single task, the results could be surprising.

6. Making sure everyone is on task

You have to be at the top of your game and make sure everyone else is, too. Catch those slackers and get them back on track...ers.

7. When you’re fully prepared to take on whatever job you need to

The show must go on and if someone gets miraculously hit by a bus mid-show, you have to buckle up and become like three different people simultaneously.

8. When you snap at someone during tech week

Again, everyone gets stressed and when someone is eating at your very last nerve, you might slip and get a little snippy with them. It sucks, but it’s all part of the experience.

9. When you’re watching a technical problem on stage, hoping the actor will pull through and fix it

An actor drops a prop that rolls across the stage into another actor’s death zone. Your only hope is that someone will realize the catastrophe that’s about to unfold and will cleverly avoid someone’s doom. It’s do or die. Hopefully, they do.

10. When you enter tech week

It’s all fun and games until tech week rolls along. At that point, everyone should cease their nonsense unless you enjoy staying until like 1 a.m. at the theater. Tech is a whole different ball game and people will start to get REALLY mad if you’re continuing on with your shenanigans.

11. When you absolutely nail the timing of your fly

There is nothing more satisfying than getting cued for a fly and then flying that boy in perfectly. Your arms might fall out with continued accuracy, but it’s worth it for a speedy fly.

12. When the show is finally done

The end of a show you’ve worked really hard is always bittersweet. You finally get your life back, but you don’t get to see the lovely people you’ve worked with every day like you have for so long. Shows are one of the most stressful things ever, but they’re also one of the most rewarding and it’s hard to let them go.

Cover Image Credit: NBC Universal

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