Yes, that screenshot that you see in the cover photo is really is what my Tinder profile looked like when I matched with my boyfriend.

I met my boyfriend, Gregory, during the second semester of my sophomore year on campus. I had been single since right before my high school graduation, and I had finally decided that I was ready to put myself back out there and start dating again. One of my dearest friends (mandatory shoutout to Shane Bridger Lutz) put me on a few dating websites and helped me sort through some of the matches that began coming in. I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship, I just wanted to talk to some new people, and then I happened to swipe right on a boy from Reidsville, NC. Gregory and I immediately began exchanging messages, and eighteen months later, here we are.

I came to college thinking that it was going to be this giant dating scene, but I was completely wrong. I found that the most common practice was just to “hook up” with someone whom you were attracted to. This completely nebulous term can mean any number of things, but for me, I was not personally interested in pursuing that kind of relationship. I was attracted to other guys that I met on campus, but none of them went further than simple crushes. At that point, I gave up. I was halfway through my freshman year and felt like an unattractive loser. This is when I wish I had someone telling me exactly what I am about to tell you: College is not about finding that perfect someone, it is about exploring who you are and learning new things about the world around you.

I found the guy that I can picture myself being with for the rest of my life when I was 20 years old. Before that, I spent almost two years trying to figure out who I was as a person. I came to college dreaming of having that picture-perfect moment of meeting my prince charming in my first class of my freshman year, what I found instead were guys who ended up being some awesome friends. I was still years away from meeting Gregory, and honestly, I don’t think that we would have liked each other when we were 18. I am not here to lecture you, or to tell you that what I chose for myself was the absolute perfect way to go. I am just saying that you don’t have to get so swept up in a dream or an expectation, that you forget to take time to work on yourself and grow as an individual.

You might just meet that special person in your First Year Seminar; maybe that is your destiny, but for me, it took dropping that expectation to truly enjoy my time as a freshman. When I stopped worrying about when and where Mr. Right was going to be, I was able to truly experience all that this campus has to offer.

I will leave you with this. Ultimately, you can decide what is best for you. If you want to enjoy the company of someone new, in whatever way that relationship looks for you, that is awesome. You do you and do what makes you happy. All that I am trying to tell you is that you don’t HAVE to find that individual in order to have an awesome time here.

To prove it, here is my top five favorite things that I did my first year and a half at Wake Forest without being in a relationship:

1. Joined three organizations on campus that gave me a chance to pursue what I am passionate about.

2. Ran twenty laps around the Upper Quad to raise money for the Brian Piccolo Cancer Research Fund.

3. Performed in my first Main stage Production at Wake (as a boy).

4. Attended the very first Wake Forest Football game of my freshman year and got to ‘Open the Gate’.

5. Participated in the very first entirely Freshman-produced show in the Theatre Department.

So get out there and discover all that Wake Forest has to offer. Explore your identity, make new friends, and study hard.