Day by day
Week by week
Month by Month
Each year slowly passing by.
No matter how much
I try to get over
The hurt and the pain
That you put me through,
No matter how much I work
I put into fixing myself,
It’s getting too difficult
For me to move past this.
It isn’t fair
To me
Or to those around me.
I’m too damaged,
Too broken and cracked
From what you did to me
That devastating night.
You destroyed me.
The worst part of it?
You didn’t seem to care.
You moved on with your life,
Quit talking to me,
Quit affiliating yourself with me,
And lied to everyone
About what you did to me.
You pretended as if
Nothing had ever happened
And made it seem
Like I was the liar
In this mess of a situation.
You chose to flee
From everyone here,
Including those you called friends,
Making yourself virtually untrackable,
Because you realized
How humiliating it was
For me to be around
Someone who did something
As cruel as what you did
Without being able to do much.
I had so many questions
That I thought
I would want answers to.
I have worked on
Getting myself to the point
In which these questions
Are now meaningless to me
And I don’t seem
To want answers anymore.
Even if I got the chance
To see you again,
I don’t think
I could bring myself
To ask you those questions
That I once
Was asking myself.
I’m to the point
Where I’m not even sure
That I would ever want
To see you again.
Even if I saw you again,
I don’t think I could
Work up the courage
To say anything to you
Without having
A complete breakdown
In the middle of
Wherever I’m at
From knowing just how bad
You broke me.
No matter the circumstances,
I don’t think
I could bear
Even the sight of you.
The reason being
Because I once put
The full blame on myself
For what happened
That awful night.
I have realized since then
That the fault
Was not my own,
But the fault was yours.
I have finally
Pulled myself to the point
Of forgiving myself
For thinking that
I could ever
Be the one to blame
For what you did to me.
I have also
Come to realize
That I have room
To be able to
Forgive you as well
For what you did.
This is the part
That works out for you,
Because I want you to know
That I do forgive you
For what you did.
While I can’t completely forget it,
I do have that forgiveness
In my heart for you.
While I forgive you,
I still don’t think
I could ever stop myself
From getting emotional
If I ever saw you
At any point
In my life
From here on out.
While I have brought myself
To the point
Where I forgive both myself
And forgive you,
I still struggle
Every day with
What happened that night.
It’s been three years,
But I still have nightmares
Every once in a while.
Three years later
And I’m still scared.
I’m still scared
Of what the future holds.
I’m scared of how
This could affect
Any future Relationships
That I may have
Throughout my lifetime.
While I’m still scared
And while I’m worried
About how this event
Could affect my future,
It is my hope that
You have grown to become
A better person
Since that night.
It is also my hope
That you are richly blessed
In everything that you pursue
And decide to attempt.
While I continue
On this journey
Towards healing completely,
I truly hope
That your life
Is going the way
That you’ve always wished
That it would.
This poem is my attempt
At saying
What I hope
Is a final Goodbye
To the one that
Hurt me the most.
