Day by day

Week by week

Month by Month

Each year slowly passing by.

No matter how much

I try to get over

The hurt and the pain

That you put me through,

No matter how much I work

I put into fixing myself,

It’s getting too difficult

For me to move past this.

It isn’t fair

To me

Or to those around me.

I’m too damaged,

Too broken and cracked

From what you did to me

That devastating night.

You destroyed me.

The worst part of it?

You didn’t seem to care.

You moved on with your life,

Quit talking to me,

Quit affiliating yourself with me,

And lied to everyone

About what you did to me.

You pretended as if

Nothing had ever happened

And made it seem

Like I was the liar

In this mess of a situation.

You chose to flee

From everyone here,

Including those you called friends,

Making yourself virtually untrackable,

Because you realized

How humiliating it was

For me to be around

Someone who did something

As cruel as what you did

Without being able to do much.

I had so many questions

That I thought

I would want answers to.

I have worked on

Getting myself to the point

In which these questions

Are now meaningless to me

And I don’t seem

To want answers anymore.

Even if I got the chance

To see you again,

I don’t think

I could bring myself

To ask you those questions

That I once

Was asking myself.

I’m to the point

Where I’m not even sure

That I would ever want

To see you again.

Even if I saw you again,

I don’t think I could

Work up the courage

To say anything to you

Without having

A complete breakdown

In the middle of

Wherever I’m at

From knowing just how bad

You broke me.

No matter the circumstances,

I don’t think

I could bear

Even the sight of you.

The reason being

Because I once put

The full blame on myself

For what happened

That awful night.

I have realized since then

That the fault

Was not my own,

But the fault was yours.

I have finally

Pulled myself to the point

Of forgiving myself

For thinking that

I could ever

Be the one to blame

For what you did to me.

I have also

Come to realize

That I have room

To be able to

Forgive you as well

For what you did.

This is the part

That works out for you,

Because I want you to know

That I do forgive you

For what you did.

While I can’t completely forget it,

I do have that forgiveness

In my heart for you.

While I forgive you,

I still don’t think

I could ever stop myself

From getting emotional

If I ever saw you

At any point

In my life

From here on out.

While I have brought myself

To the point

Where I forgive both myself

And forgive you,

I still struggle

Every day with

What happened that night.

It’s been three years,

But I still have nightmares

Every once in a while.

Three years later

And I’m still scared.

I’m still scared

Of what the future holds.

I’m scared of how

This could affect

Any future Relationships

That I may have

Throughout my lifetime.

While I’m still scared

And while I’m worried

About how this event

Could affect my future,

It is my hope that

You have grown to become

A better person

Since that night.

It is also my hope

That you are richly blessed

In everything that you pursue

And decide to attempt.

While I continue

On this journey

Towards healing completely,

I truly hope

That your life

Is going the way

That you’ve always wished

That it would.

This poem is my attempt

At saying

What I hope

Is a final Goodbye

To the one that
Hurt me the most.