You may be wondering by the title, "What did she survive? A car crash? Sickness?" In some ways, I guess sickness can be one word to describe it. It depends on how you look at it.
Depression and Anxiety.
I only have those two words to say, and I bet I know what you are thinking. You're probably right about what you are thinking too, because so many people in this world face those two words every day, and those people have similarities. We all have different reasons for what causes it, but we all go through the same motions. Denial, pain, stress and being scared are some words than can be used to describe them. For me, it was a mix of being made fun of at school, family issues, and how I felt about my body. Those are quite the common three you can find someone struggling with, but does that make it any easier?
Not one bit.
I would miss so many days of school for being sick and terrified to go back because I know I would hear about it from other classmates and teachers. I had a hard time falling asleep at night and would literally lay there and stare at my ceiling for hours. I would come home exhausted and my mom would always ask if I was okay, and of course the answer was always. "Yes, I'm fine," but I bet we all know the truth right? I would stay up half the night because my mind wouldn't shut up and let me go to sleep. The constant thoughts of "not being good enough", and others haunted my mind. Anxiety makes you think too much.Overthinking ruined a lot for me. The constant battle of "I can do this, but then this could happen."
Also the fear of having to talk to anyone I'm not used to, the fear of walking into a room and everyone is looking at me and judging. This went on for years, but don't get me wrong, I still struggle with it and will for the rest of my life, but 2012-2014 were the worst years of my life. Pretty much all that time was just a blur in some ways. So here's the deal, here I am years later. I graduated high school in 2016, I am currently in college and I love it, dearly. I don't want to sound cliche', but it does get better.
There's no trick to it. You just live, go through life and try not to let those words ruin it and you will be alright. You're only human, so believe me when I say that you will have your bad days, but don't have them rule over you. Find your happiness and strive in that. Everything else will follow.
