Let me start off first by saying this is just a reoccurring matter that I’ve seen happen for… the majority of my life. It starts off as a fun conversation between friends or acquaintances about some of your similar interests. Then, it changes into a questionnaire about your knowledge on the subject. The questions usually start with, “Well, did you know that actually..,” or “Yeah well I heard…” The classic, cliché phrases to the beginning of a now short conversation. Well, that’s weird, I think to myself, I just told him I really enjoyed this one movie and now I’m being quizzed about my knowledge of it. It’s almost like he questions the validity of my knowledge on the subject? How strange.
It’s the interaction between men and women and how men try to always have the control in the conversation they are currently engaging in. They listen to your comments and include how they *actually* know that *technically* your fact is incorrect. Or, even better, that they know all the names of the characters you have forgotten at this exact moment or how you pronounced the name of that planet from that movie wrong. Conversations shouldn’t have to go like this. They should be two people talking back and forth about a topic they are both interested in.
For the guys thinking to themselves while reading this article, oh gosh, I don’t think I do that. I hope I don’t do that. Don’t worry, guys. It’s not everyone. It’s just simply the majority of the men I try to talk to about the new "Black Panther" movie plot or maybe about how excited I am for the new Doctor to be a woman. Every time I make a comment I always get shut down and seen as the inferior intellect. I just like to watch the movies and enjoy the franchises. Is that too much to ask?
And yes, I do know that some guys could just be carrying on a conversation, but look at the way you are presenting your dialogue. Don’t talk down to us, talk with us. You’ll really see how interesting it is for you to hold the conversation with the woman you’re talking to instead of making her feel dumb for having interests in movies, television shows, or comics.
So, to the guys that do this: stop. We hear you doing this and, as women who are just fans of the science fiction genre, we ask you to just listen to our excitement of how passionate we are about our interests. Instead of saying “Oh, you haven’t seen that? I can’t believe you haven’t seen that.” Instead, say “That’s such a great show. You would really enjoy it.” It’s the little things that make the biggest efforts. Try to include everyone and always try to be understanding when it comes to people’s interests because you can never know when you start to mansplain.
