It’s just been a little over half an hour since I’ve completed my last final of my sophomore year, and I’m sitting on my bed, laptop on my lap, slightly stupefied as I type this up.

I can’t believe I’m halfway done.

I hate clichés, but I honestly can’t believe it. I’m halfway through with my undergraduate degree.

Looking back, sophomore year has been quite the experience. I don’t think I’ve ever been tested more than I have during this year. I’ve lost friends, made new ones, struggled in several classes and excelled in others. I’ve stepped outside my comfort zone, talked to new people, and stepped up in leadership roles. I’ve cried, laughed, lost sleep, and even ran into a door.

Still, even with everything that’s happened, both good and bad, I can’t help but feel anxious.

I have a good friend who’s going off into the real world. She’s going to have a real job, be a real person in the real world, and while she’s excited, I can’t help but think: That’s going to be me in less than two years.

I went into my sophomore year of college thinking that I knew exactly what I wanted to do, and now I have no freakin’ clue. I’ve learned too many things about myself to just stick by what I originally wanted to do.

But going into the real world? Having a job? WHAT?

I like being a student. I’m going to be a lifelong learner. I just hope that I’ll either be hit with a brick with a note tied to it that says, “THIS IS WHAT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO, YOU IDIOT!” or I’ll just fall into it.

Growing up is difficult. But I’m excited about it. In the meantime, I guess I’ll just pray that my next two years at my school are some of the best, and continue to be filled with revelations, learning experiences, and lots and lots of laughs.