How I Learned To Love Myself More
Start writing a post

This Summer Taught Me How To Love Myself A Little More

There's still a lot of work to do in that department, but I couldn't be happier.

Alisa Anton/Unsplash
Angelica Santiago

I went through a lot this summer. June was a wild ride, and July was an introspective storm.

I had my first experience of work, I got to teach teachers for the very first time about biotechnology. It's interesting to talk to them in a different setting; I feel I understand their motivations and what drives them to do what they do. It made me think a lot about what I want to do and why I want to do it. Then, I went on my first college tour to Princeton, and it helped me put my goals into perspective, look at them in reality. Is that where I want to be? What do I need to do to get there? Is the work I'm going to do beneficial no matter where I end up?

I think so. As soon as I went and I experienced the shock of actually being there, I felt bad because I felt that I was not doing enough. It's hard for me to say what actually qualifies as enough, so I didn't want to think about it. All I wanted to do was work. Focus on Precalculus and studying for standardized tests. I shut myself off from my friends and kept social media contact as limited as possible.

I mean what else is there to do when you're home alone? I did take time off before any of you think I'm an inhuman robot who overworks herself. That time off I spent playing some of the video games I played when I was younger, I spent it reflecting on myself and on my experiences. Sure, I found a lot of bad things in my backlog of memories, but I've come to terms with them.

When I think about mistakes I committed in the past, it's hard to blame anyone but myself. I found that the person I ended up hurting the most was myself by not being true to who I was, not standing my own ground. That hurts me a lot, but it's true. The only way for me to get over that guilt was to accept it and to promise myself that I'd do my best to be myself, for real this time.

Being alone helped me face myself, it helped me see nothing but myself and who I was. Sure, there might be healthier ways to do that, but I feel a lot more relaxed than I have been in two years, and well—that's pretty priceless. There are things I want to do, and my ambition needs support (in reality) so I cannot simply settle for wishes, I must act.

I think that I've learned to love myself a little more. Much like any other part of my life, it still needs work, but my self-esteem is in a much better place than it has been in a while. I don't want to be arrogant, but if I want to do what I want to do, it requires some sort of confidence, some sort of strength. I want to accept my weaknesses and make my strengths better. It is what I want to do more than anything itself.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Panic! At The Disco Announces Breakup After 19 Years

Band Makes Breakup Announcement Official: 'Will Be No More'

panic at the disco

It's the end of an era. Originally formed in 2004 by friends in Las Vegas, Panic! At The Disco is no more.

Brendon Urie announced on Instagram that the band will be coming to an end after the upcoming Europe tour. He said that he and his wife are expecting a baby, and the life change weighed heavily in his mind to come to this decision. "Sometimes a journey must end for a new one to begin," he said.

Keep Reading... Show less
Content Inspiration

Top 3 Response Articles of This Week

Odyssey's response writer community is growing- read what our new writers have to say!


Each week, more response writers are joining the Odyssey community. We're excited to spotlight their voices on as they engage in constructive dialogue with our community. Here are the top three response articles of last week:

Keep Reading... Show less

To Mom

There are days when you just need your mom

To Mom

There really is no way to prepare yourself for the loss of someone. Imagine that someone being the one who carried you for 9th months in their belly, taught you how to walk, fought with you about little things that only a mother and daughter relationship could understand. You can have a countless number of father figures in your life, but really as my mom always said, " you only get one mom."

Keep Reading... Show less

The Way People In Society are Dating is Why I Don't Date

I need someone to show that they want me for me, not that they're using me to chase the idea of being in a relationship.

The Way People In Society are Dating is Why I Don't Date

You hear your phone go off. He's asking you to hang out. Then, of course, you get the advice of your friends to decipher this text. Is it just hanging out or is it more than hanging out? You've probably done this at least once in your life or at least seen a tweet where someone posted their screenshots with a potential love interest.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

Winter Break As Told By 'Friends'

Is a month at home too much to handle?


If you're anything like me, winter break is a much-needed light at the end of the tunnel after a long, stressful semester. Working hard for 15 weeks can really take a toll on a person mentally, physically AND emotionally. It's a nice change of pace to be back at home with your family and friends, but after a couple weeks, it can get, well... boring.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments