Part of me feels quite silly continuing to call myself a camp counselor now that on April 30, as I write this, the summer has officially been canceled. Part of me definitely saw this coming. It was hard not to with a global pandemic keeping me locked in my childhood bedroom with nothing but my thoughts. But part of me, the part that grew up in the beautiful Georgia forests, believed that camp magic could come through before June.

Don't get me wrong, I understand there are much bigger issues going on in the world and they deserve your sympathy much more than the loss of summer at sleep away camp does. But if you didn't grow up going to camp, let me try and help you understand why for campers and staff across the nation, the loss of our summer homes is such a devastating decision.

URJ Camp Coleman is 100 percent the reason I am who I am today.

The first day I ever walked in, as a scared and quiet fifth-grader I saw two girls sprint across the dining hall to jump into each other's arms. Right as I wondered if that could ever be me, a nice girl with curly blonde hair walked up to me and said, "Hi, I'm Zoe! We're friends now!" (It almost sounds too cliche to be real, but she is still my absolute best friend) But that is just a taste of the magic at camp.

The ability for kids to grow and try and fail all on their own without parents trying to fix it or do it for them is so vital for growth and development. There is no success without failure, and camp teaches you that not only is it okay to fail, but it's also encouraged and we'll catch you when you fall. I've watched kids with fears of height's climb to the top of the rock wall. A girl once scared of water ran off the diving board. It's almost as if the longer they're there the more fear can float away.

But I've also watched them mature in a way I couldn't imagine happening anywhere else.

I've watched groups of kids adapt to help a camper with special needs, going out of their way to make him feel like he belonged, which he did and does. I've sat down with a camper making homophobic slurs and had a real conversation on why that's not okay. I then watched him apologize and become friends with the LGBT+ campers.

And that wasn't the only real conversation. At camp, kids can ask questions to their college-aged counselors and get real answers. We talked about the dangers of nicotine, peer pressure in high school, dating, and healthy relationships. As much as camp is s'mores and campfires, it is so much more than that.

Nothing shows how much camp means to these kids quite like the morning they leave.

I've never had a tighter hug than on move out day. Well, until the next summer, when a camper comes running out of their mom's minivan and into your arms again. And for the campers of 2020, they no longer get to run back into those arms they thought would be waiting for them.

There is a phrase among the campers, "living 10 for 2."

Most of them countdown the days until they get to return from the minute they get home. I think that most of them saw the cancellation coming too, but watched the news with crossed fingers and hoped for camp magic.

Being a camp counselor is incredible and if you ever have the opportunity, do it. It's the most fulfilling thing I have ever done. And for the campers of 2020, those arms will still be there to catch you in 2021. And until then, find comfort in friends, in old memories, and hold to the hope in camp magic. This too shall pass.