This week it has been incredibly hot and I have noticed more and more folks on social media are looking for that perfect super cute bathing suit for summer.

If you have more adipose tissue than most, thinking about the "summer bathing suit body" can be a scary thing.

If you are fat, then you know you should do something about it but it is just so hard.

Right about the time I feel okay about myself, I go to the doctors or have some moment of insanity and step on a scale at home and I see the real number (shiver).

I do try and try to lose weight. I have gone down to one small meal a day before and nothing. I had to have such a limited diet in prep for a medical procedure I just didn't eat for the six weeks. I may have lost a pound but I doubt it.

I am not just fat. I can blame some of my issues with weight on life long medical issues and I mean some, not all. My issues make things like weight loss surgery not an option for me, I still have people tell me about their surgery successes. I had someone in Target once come up and tell me how much weight they lost with surgery. REALLY? I am happy for all that have found a new life through surgery but..

I have family members that thankfully did not inherit my metabolism and they can eat whatever they want. Their main issue clothes shopping is not every place carries a double zero.

I am not the best at sticking to a weight loss plan. I find creative ways to get around the rules or at least make myself feel better about breaking the rules.

Losing weight is a mind over matter thing and if the rules say one cookie then it is one cookie :)

I guess the real thing I should concentrate on for summer is to feel comfortable in my own skin and be happy with the woman I am. I am two maybe three times the woman you see on magazine covers, but that's okay. I need to lose weight to be healthier and just feel better in general. The rest, well, I will never be 120 pounds. At 6'1" I am pretty sure my skeleton weighs more than that. I can work to be the best me I can. Don't worry if you can't fit into the bikini this summer, grab a rocking one piece and be fierce.

Hope everyone has a fun and safe summer.