Editor's note: If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health, suicide or substance use crisis or emotional distress, reach out 24/7 to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (formerly known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) by dialing or texting 988 or using chat services at suicidepreventionlifeline.org to connect to a trained crisis counselor. You can also get crisis text support via the Crisis Text Line by texting NAMI to 741741.
Suicide.... A broken system... A Broken Heart from one thing or another....
We all have a story but whether we continue through the pain is our choice not others!
Have you ever been in a dark place? Have you ever cried until you physically couldn’t breath? Have you ever felt your heart jump from your chest and feel like you have lost everything?
I have! I’ve been there! I have never felt or been good enough! I was told I would never be anything in life! I was told I was useless, worthless, and a lost cause! I attempted suicide multiple times!
I lost everything I had in my life! Loved ones turned their backs on me! Friends made fun of me for being sad! Teachers told me to quit that I was a chicken and I wasn’t good enough! I went deep into a hole! A hole that is dark and almost impossible to find your way out of!
Do you know what it’s like to struggle? Financially? Mentally? Physically? Do you know what it’s like to push everyone away because your afraid they might see you at your darkest? Do you know what it’s like to physically walk around for days months even with the fakest smile ever just so nobody knows your hurting for fear of being hurt more if you tell them what is on you the mind? I Do!
So here is what I do! I smile! I cry in private! I smile and repeat! But I have learned to lean on those that can read me. People tell me I am a bad liar! I am a bad liar about everything except my emotions! I am slowly learning to smile more and enjoy the small victories in life! Suicide was my option before but now I fight and I struggle to be better than who I was! Build a support system! One or two people who have been there through the darkest moment! Tell them when your down just to get it off of your chest! Smile more! Try to be happier! Remember, it is never too late to ask for professional help! I had to at one point. I got help and So can you! It is never too late!
I’ve been there and I chose to fight! You can do this! You are stronger than you think! I believe in you and know what darkness looks like and truly what it can feel like! 💜
Sincerely,
A person who has been there and chose to fight
