Sometimes, life sucks. You get stuck in traffic on your way to work or school, you wind up with a nasty cold right around the time a big project is due (always, without fail), or you have to struggle through an exam that, even though you studied for, you know you aren’t going to do too hot on. Whatever it is, the fact that life can really screw you over with no regards for you whatsoever is irrefutable. Occasionally, whole countries or people groups experience the harsh reality of life and the truth of terrorism or crime that we have to sometimes face in this world.
Wherever your suffering lands on that spectrum: I’m sorry, I really wish that you didn’t have to go through what you’re going through. I wish that you could always be healthy, happy, safe, stress-free, and on-time, but that’s not the way life works. However, there is (kind of) a silver lining to suffering. According to the Association for Psychological Science, “misery loves company” is actually a phrase with some truth to it, meaning that, yes, people do bond over their shared suffering and pain.
We see this in the way communities and countries come together after tragedies strike, but it doesn’t even take suffering of that scale for the effect of pain and emotional turmoil to bring people together. Something as simple as bodily discomfort or displeasure can often draw people together, for example the shared physical toll of playing a sport often bonds athletes just as the shared experience of an unsuccessful exam can bond classmates together.
The effect of suffering on bonding and cooperation does not even need scientific testimony to be seen. In fact, many religions have utilized discomfort and displeasure to not only strengthen faith, but to bring faith communities together. A few examples are the fasting month of Ramadan for Muslims, or the holy time of giving something up in your life—known as Lent—in Christianity.
When life sucks, life sucks, but consider this the next time you’re having a difficult time: you’re not alone. Whatever you’re experiencing, other people have, are, or will experience. It may seem like no one is there for you now, but if you can power through your struggle and emerge victorious on the other side you will find that there is whole community of people that you are closer to from having struggled. People you now relate to and lean on for support, people who can help you cope with struggles in the future.
As humans, it is essential for us to realize that we really are all in this together. We all share this Earth, and as the 5th Article of the North American Treaty Organization states an attack on one of us is an attack on all of us. Every injustice we see being suffered by people around the world is not just “someone else’s problem” or a “third world problem,” it’s our problem too, and it should act to draw us all closer together as a species.
Misery loves company, and while it’s not smart to seek out suffering, it would serve us all well to examine each miserable situation we find ourselves in to see how we can use this unfortunate situation to become closer to our fellow human beings.
