Alright. Pokémon Go is legit. It's so cool how this one app is so easily getting people outside and meeting new friends and bringing Pokémon to life. However, there is one problem... CATHERINE KENYON SUCKS AT POKÉMON GO.

As a child, I wasn't allowed to watch, play, or buy anything related to Pokémon because my mother said it was "of the devil" or something like that. So, my knowledge of Pokémon has been EXTREMELY limited until I met my current boyfriend. For example, up until I met Stephen, I thought this lil' guy

was called "Pokémon" because everything I saw that had to do with Pokémon always had that little yellow gerbil on it. Well, cue Stephen, and APPARENTLY that guy's name is "Pikachu" and "Pokémon" is just a GENERAL TERM for all the little guys. Also, I thought this little Pikachu was exclusive, as in only one in the world, and this guy

has the only Pikachu as a pet or something. WRONG AGAIN. There are like a bajillion lil' Pikachu running around and you catch them. In fact, you catch ALL the Pokémon to BATTLE OTHER POKÉMON. You gotta catch 'em all.

So, now that I'm caught up to the fact that there are like 700 other Pokémon and Pikachu is named Pikachu and there is no PETA in the Pokémon universe, I figure I can jump in and start playing this game. Haha- wrong again. The app pretty much teaches you how to play, but I'm so lost as to how well I'm doing.

I figure I'm on top of the WORLD. I am catching all these cool birds and rats. I even got to LEVEL 2 by the end of day one. I am basically killing it, right?! So, I call up Stephen all excited, and, man oh man, I quickly discover that I am not very good. He's already on like Level 12,000,000 and battling people and catching all these cool Pokémon that have CP's of like 700. (Side Note: I still don't know what CP means. But I do know that the higher it is, the better the Pokémon Power or something.) So, I listen to all his accomplishments, and suddenly my 500,000 purple rats of CP 10 don't look so cool.

Well, I'm getting better. I caught some more Pokémon other than birds and rats. I've upgraded to worms and artichokes.

I learned how to trade in rats for rat candy, which is a weird concept, but also cool. I also learned that Pokéstops are where you get more Pokéballs and sometimes other cool things. My mom has even gotten interested in the app, and helps me catch Pokémon now! Also, I'm now on LEVEL 5, baby! Apparently, that means I can go to a gym and join a team. Team Mystic*, here I come.

*Legitimately only joining Mystic because they're blue.

So, please please please, if you see me out in the world trying to play Pokémon Go, know that I'm doing my very best to be the very best. I really want to be involved in the Pokémon World because it sounds so cool, but my 21 and a half years of ignorance are holding me back... but I know it's my destiny.