Commercials Are Dumb
Start writing a post
Arts Entertainment

Why Do Commercials Suck Now?

We used to have Gerber babies, now we have boxes.

Why Do Commercials Suck Now?

Normally, I like to keep my mind filled with important issues. I keep abreast of politics and cultural progression daily, and I think I'm a better person for it. But sometimes I feel like so many things are shoved in our face in the media, or on Twitter and Facebook, or even just in our work lives. The fact that we have headlines every single day reporting on another celebrity death, or bombing, or terror attack, or school shooting, has bamboozled us into a point of submission. Sometimes we're shown so much shocking material that things get to pass in front of our faces completely unscathed.

This is why I find it shocking that I've only just realized how stupid company mascots are becoming.

Seriously, I know this sounds crazy, but has anyone else sat around and thought about how Flo (the Progressive Insurance commercial rep that is oddly hot) has been replaced by a talking box? I repeat, a talking box. Progressive Insurance literally replaced a human woman with a weird talking box that has creepy flappy cardboard stubs for arms, and a thousand-yard stare that's coming from eyes that look like they belong to a character from "Don't Hug Me, I'm Scared."

You might say "Oh Thomas, you're overreacting. That's just one example." And I would respond by showing you a picture of the Cologuard mascot, who also happens to be a freaking talking box!

But my rant goes even deeper. I realize that a box is dumb, but I honestly think that some other, human, mascots that can be even dumber. Like Peter Dinklage and Morgan Freeman in their dual Doritos/Mountain Dew commercial. Their whole commercial is them standing in a parlor-like room and taking a bite of a Dorito, or a sip of Mountain Dew, and then lip-syncing while walking towards the camera. Like what? What is that? Is this supposed to be cool because they're famous or something? I just don't get it.

Again, I only came to this realization when I was watching a Progressive commercial during the news (in which child immigrants at the border were shown laying on the floor in space blankets). But when did commercials become so stupid and, even further, when did the people that make these commercials decide that Americans were so stupid that they'd clap like a seal at a commercial of Tyrion Lannister chugging Baja Blast? I'm not saying that the old "by Mennen" commercials were highbrow by any means, but at least they had a catchy jingle and didn't insult your intelligence. Even the "wazzup" Budweiser commercial wasn't as bad as the crap that's being put out today.

I legitimately think I'm one of the only people thinking about this, but I wish that more people would. Why is it that putting a celebrity into a commercial automatically makes it one of the best commercials of the Super Bowl, even if it isn't clever, or funny, or moving? Have we become a society that allows nothingness to flash past our eyes for 30 seconds as long as it has a celebrity (or box) screaming, or singing, or faking acting suave?

Related Articles Around the Web
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less
New Year Resolutions

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family. What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

Keep Reading...Show less

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it.

​different color birthday candles on a cake
Blacksburg Children's Museum

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments