I like to think I am a confident person. I try to spread positivity about body image, unique personalities and accomplishments in all forms but sometimes I feel like I am being a bit hypocritical. Here is why.

I compare myself to others way too often. I am constantly looking at others wondering if I am doing as well as them or being as good as them or accomplishing as much as them. This is abundantly unhealthy. So, as I do with many of my personal issues, I am sharing my struggle through my writing in hopes that I can reach someone out there who is doing the same thing.

Why do we feel the need to compare ourselves to others? We live in a society that values individualism and being unique, so why am I still struggling? Who defines who is the most beautiful, most accomplished or most valued?

I’m sure that not everyone in the world would agree on the winners of these categories. I’m also sure that we don’t need “winners” for them. A few months ago, I wrote an article about redefining beauty. I imagined the article; I wrote the words and yet I am still struggling to live by them. And that’s just one category. I strive to be accomplished and valued as well. My problem is that I am looking at the lives surrounding mine to make sure I am keeping up.

Maybe our lives are these constant battles of competition that are ultimately creating deep divides between us and those surrounding us. But they shouldn’t be. We shouldn’t want to have what someone else has or be what someone else is. We all have different stories, struggles and ambitions so why do we care if someone is doing better than us? We care because although this society values individualism, it values success more.

Success isn’t just having a good job. It is being the best in every single aspect of life. You must have the highest paying job, the cutest and happiest family and the looks to intimidate multitudes in order to be considered truly successful. That seems a little unobtainable and very discouraging if you ask me.

Something I hope to happen soon, for the good of people everywhere, is for success to be individualized. What I mean is that we shouldn’t consider one view of success to be the only view of success. We can all be successful in our own unique ways. We don’t have to own a company, write an award-winning novel or win a Grammy to be successful. Success can and should be obtainable in many different forms. We have to be willing to accept the defeat of our current idea of success and excited to welcome many new forms of it.