To the Dude Who Was Forced Designated To Take The Group Picture,

Let me start off by thanking you. You may not realize this, but your duty holds a great amount of responsibility that should not be taken lightly. We all know that the fate of the remainder of the day or night (and quite frankly, your life) rests delicately in the moments after that iPhone is shoved into your hand. We know that this is not your activity of choice due to that not-so-subtle eye roll and exasperated sigh, but at the same time it's evident that you don't care enough/aren't stupid enough to say no.

But what if I told you that this all-too-common photoshoot charade didn't have to be such a pain in everyone's ass? What if this entire process could only take three seconds, and everyone's patience and energy could be harnessed for all of the inevitable bad decisions of the night yet to be made? Just read ahead, and thank me later.

1) Make sure everyone's ready for the picture.

This might mean you have to yell "OKAAAY, EVERYONE READY?" like you're speaking to a second-grade classroom, but you know there's always that girl who's too busy taking shots across the room and will wail, "WAAAAITTTT!" two seconds after you thought you were finally done taking pictures. This also means waiting for everyone to fix their hair, skirt, etc. and waiting for Becky to position herself to show her "good side" or else she'll whine about her non-existent "fat rolls."

2) Repeat after me: VERTICAL.

The horizontal shot is such a classic dad move. But you're probably not a dad, so you don't really have the excuse to do this. Seriously, no one wants a horizontal picture. Don't question it, just trust me.

3) Keep your hands still.

Were you taking espresso shots at the pregame? Have you been diagnosed with Parkinson's? If you answered no to these questions, there is no reason the picture should be blurry.

4) Don't be afraid to direct.

This means asking if shoes should be included in the shot, or is this more of a close-up situation? Both? Is there a half-naked Kate Upton poster uncomfortably lurking in the background? Should there be a location change for better lighting? Serious pose? Silly? Frat point? Just some questions to keep in mind.

5) Take a million pictures.

Just rapid-fire that s***. This will guarantee that there's enough options, so each member of the group will find at least ONE picture suitable for Instagram. Also, this means there will probably be a few candids, and you know b****es love candids.

With these five tips, you will be forever loved and cherished as The One Dude Who Actually Knows How to To Take Pictures. Guaranteed.