There’s been a lot of confusion in my life recently. People are hurting, and they feel guilty for it, and they won’t ask or talk about it because they feel so guilty. Is that fair? When did having your friends support you turn into such a bad thing? Someone told me recently that you can’t rely on other people, you can only rely on yourself. In some cases, I believe that’s true. However, most of the time I think relying on other people (not completely, but enough) builds strong relationships and a strong connection to life. Without the love of other people, we crumble. Think about it. Realistically, you can live without money, a house, even without a family for some people, but you need appreciation and empathy, and someone to care about. The people that keep everything on their own shoulders are the people that end up breaking under the weight.

I think it’s important to know yourself and know what you’re capable of. Know who you are outside of being with other people. Know what you like and dislike, your standards, and how you can semi-function by yourself. At the same time, do not be afraid to ask other people for what you need. I’m a culprit in this, I have asked only one person for help in my life because I was so desperate and I needed to talk to her. Don’t do what I do. Don’t turn into the person that I am. Know when you need someone, and find that person. If they sit there and they listen to you and they help you, they mean it. If they didn’t want to sit there, they wouldn’t.

I’ve met some pretty strong people in my life. There are some that I think would do just fine on their own. There are some people that are okay with being “just fine.” What kind of a life is fine? When did “fine” become enough for us? I think fine is something people say to lie. They lie to themselves that they’re fine relying on themselves, and only themselves. Everyone needs somebody. Everyone needs someone to turn to and someone that can turn to them when they’re struggling. Alone isn’t an option; not for me.

My friends have gotten me through the worst times in my life. My friends have stood by my side while I sat on the edge of a mountain and asked myself: what if? Every time I’m about to do some irreparable damage to my life (and trust me, it happens a lot), I think about what my best friend would do if I was gone. She’d blame herself, without a doubt, and I wouldn’t be able to knock some sense into her and say it’s not your fault; it was never your fault; I did this. I did this to myself. That’s why I try my hardest to get up and live every single day. I love my friends so much that the thought of them not knowing…the thought of them going through life without me is too much. That sounds conceited, but it’s not because I think I’m some golden center in their lives, it’s more that I would never want them to have no one to turn to anymore. I’ll say it again and again until this sinks in: you can’t live your life alone. Don’t rely on others so much that you can’t stand up on your own, but don't keep so much inside that no one knows who you really are. Let yourself lean on someone, and take a little bit of that weight off your shoulders. Let someone in.