Coffee, overwhelming amounts of feelings, and constant self-doubt. Sound like you? Well, you must have just finished your finals week! This, however, was my first round of finals as a college student, and that seems to be all I have felt this past week of finals. And to be quite honest, I may be feeling just a little bit of PTSD too.

For the past 15 weeks, I have been in what seems to be a dream. Walking through the steps, taking notes, and stretching my brain to learn all this knowledge to ace the exam until it’s here… and at the end of the day, what do I feel? Nothing. Nothing except doubt and worry that I chose the wrong major. I look to my left and right daily and wonder if I am going to be that person who isn’t there the next year.

As I prepare to go home and tackle the questions and critiques of my grades, what I’ve learned, and what I plan to do next semester, I can only come up with silence. Sitting in my favorite spot in the Starbucks on Third Street, I am contemplating all of these things when one of my favorite songs comes on, "Quite Like You" by John Williams Taylor. “…But nothing’s ever shaken me quite like you.”

So I ask myself, what has shaken me this semester? What has challenged me beyond belief?

The one thing that has constantly shaken me has been being okay with the failures of life. In high school, I had nearly all A’s and was the biggest teacher’s pet on the planet. My best friend was my AP Physics teacher and my favorite time of the school year was science fair season. Coming to Purdue, I thought finding a lab to do research in would be a piece of cake and I would be one of the brightest in my classes. I came in expecting a lot and I wasn’t going to settle.

Currently, I have been rejected from 8 labs, I have received several bad grades on exams, and I have had denied several positions in clubs and organizations I thought I would be perfect for. Guess what, though? I still have an awesome GPA (God bless the curve), I am still searching for labs to work in, and I am still a part of an amazing sorority and seeking out various clubs. The one thing I haven’t necessarily learned, but rather have been reminded of every day is that in the big scheme of things, it doesn’t matter. One bad grade doesn’t ruin my future and a rejection letter certainly doesn’t deem me as unworthy or not good enough, I still refuse to settle, I’ve just found better ways to solve my solutions.

I not only wonder what has shaken me the most, but who has shaken me the most, and that would be my friends and my family. I thought coming up to Purdue I would be alone, which in some ways is what I wanted. I wanted to be independent of family and to have a fresh start, but only through this past semester have I realized just how wrong I was.

I am so far from independent it is ridiculous, not to mention my mom’s name in my phone is still Mommy and I call her several times a day. As for friends? They are my family too. I have found such strength in myself this semester because of my friends. Whether it be my beautiful sorority sisters or my fellow enginerds, I never felt alone this semester. They have pushed me beyond belief and helped me regain my academic confidence through endless study dates and for always telling me it’s okay to buy another venti latte to get through the day.

The biggest thing I have been reminded of throughout this first semester, especially through this crazy finals week, has been to keep my faith. Ultimately, my future rests in my Savior’s hands. Through my many rejections and failures, I was first very saddened and overwhelmed, but in the end, my God was faithful and with patience and time I always ended up where I was supposed to. Every bump in the road hasn’t been to stop me, but to make me stronger.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight”. My heart is most overwhelmed when I try and take control of my own life, instead of letting Him.

I could easily give you 15 tips on how to survive finals, and tell you obvious things like don’t forget to eat, bathe, and sleep, but I think the biggest piece of advice I can tell you is to keep your faith. Keep your faith in yourself and know that one bad grade or letter of rejection doesn’t make you a failure; keep your faith in your friends and family, because they are the ones who will pick you up when you are down, and will surely keep you caffeinated through the long nights; and keep your faith in God because regardless of the grade at the end of the semester, His word holds true and gives us the strength within to wake up the next morning and keep learning and living.