When I'm going through a rough patch, the best way for me to deal with it is to write about it.

So here I am; writing about it.

I am currently a full time college student enrolled in five 3 credit hour classes. On top of that, I work anywhere between 45-60 hours per week between both of my jobs. I can't complain too much; I chose to take five classes, and I also chose to work two jobs. The only person I can blame for my current stress cycle is me. I pay for my own apartment, car, insurance, food, gas, you name it (luckily with the help of my significant other), but the struggle is still real. I'm sure that most of my readers can relate in one way or another.

Even though I'm up to my eyeballs in homework, and my sleep schedule is destroyed; working this much and getting an education has helped me to become someone I can truly say I'm proud of: independent. I get it, though. Not everyone has the means to work full time while simultaneously earning a degree. Then, again a lot of us do, and we get each other. Some people can only manage to work part time, and even that is a challenge for them. We all have our strengths when it comes to college and time management. I have friends who are parents, work, and still go to school; and I'm still trying to figure out how in the hell they make that work.

I have to admit that it's encouraging when people tell me, "Wow, that's amazing! How do you do it?" after telling them how busy my life is and what I aim to accomplish. I get this feeling that I can do anything I want to do, and there's no stopping me. Words of encouragement have honestly had a huge effect on my motivation thus far, and sometimes I remind myself of the uplifting reactions I receive from people who are surprised and amazed, even if they've had to go through the same thing during their college days.

I realize that I'm blessed to be able to go school and work. It's a lot of work, a lot of stress, and it's exhausting, but I am blessed. Sometimes I forget that some people would kill to be in my shoes being able to work and/ or get an education. When I'm complaining about how tired and broke I am, there's nothing I appreciate more than a small reminder that I will one day graduate from college and start my career. The simple fact that I can even foresee a better future for myself gives me an overwhelming feeling, and it keeps pushing me forward.

Even with the blessings, the words of encouragement, the reminders that it will all be worth the lack of sleep or sufficient funds, I'm still faced with my reality. I occasionally have to step back and ask myself if I can continue on the path I've chosen. I mean, it's that hard. The amount of will power I need to not drop out of school is sometimes unfathomable. My reality is that I'm exhausted, but if I don't do it I'd feel like a piece of me would be missing. My reality is that if I don't work as much as I do, I wouldn't be able to pay my bills or save for next semester's textbooks. Sometimes I have to skip class to get caught up on homework from other classes, or to pick up an extra shift at work because I'm broke. Some weeks my mental health hangs by a thread; some weeks I feel like I can conquer the world. I sleep an average of four hours per night, which is half of the healthy amount for an adult. I practically survive off of vending machine snacks and three or four coffees a day. My busy schedule has even affected my relationship. It can be difficult finding a balance between work, school, and my boyfriend. My reality is that if I don't take occasional mental heath days, I would lose it and eventually give up completely. I have to choose between hanging out with friends or writing a sociology paper, and sometimes, I make the wrong decision because I feel like I deserve to enjoy some point of my week. I eventually regret it later and have to play catch up for the rest of week, but at the same time I needed that time with my friends.

I know I could take an easier route; I could pace myself more at school even if that meant graduating at a later time. But my reality is that I'm tired of taking the easy route. I just want to get it over with and begin my life already.

Ultimately, the challenges I face from being a full time student and full time employee allow me to put things more in to perspective: I'm doing something that not everyone has the luxury to do. This won't be my life for, and I'm learning to appreciate myself more for the things that I have accomplished on my own like moving out of my parent's house, buying a car, and even building my credit. I know I have to keep working hard and long hours to get to where I want to be, and when I think about it, losing sleep is what makes these tough years of my life worth while. Blood, sweat, and tears will undoubtedly be shed during these next couple years of my life, but I know I'm going to get through whatever life throws at me.