This article is not written for anyone to pity someone struggling with acne. Maybe it will just help you see what it feels like to not want to look in the mirror unless makeup is on.

I was the girl that skipped the awkward stage. Sure I had braces AND glasses, but the braces came off within a few months and I got contacts too. I never struggled with acne in middle school, but I got a few random pimples during high school. If you were feeling self conscious, I would be the first girl to tell you that you were beautiful with or without makeup. I firmly believed that everyone's beauty shined through from the inside. I remember conversations with friends saying "I can't imagine feeling the need to wear makeup everyday." That changed senior year of high school.

I take medication everyday. Besides taking a pill with a meal and not laying down within 30 minutes of taking said medication, I wash my face 3 times a day - morning, afternoon and night. Every other day it is a different routine. I can't cry too hard on Monday, Wednesday or Friday because waters reaction with the topical medication burns when it gets wet.

I take pictures of whatever "progress" my skin makes and hide them in a secret folder of my photo album app. I never take a peak unless I'm adding another set of the sides of my face for the next months pictures. I would look at them and sometimes cry, but not if it was Monday, Wednesday or Friday night.

Friends have asked me why I bother wearing makeup everyday. They understand deep down that I am uncomfortable in my skin but everyone jumps to "who cares?" too quickly. I care. I care what I look like and I can't go out without foundation.

I'm late to class if I didn't wake up fast enough to put on makeup. I change my pillowcase every other night. I wash my brushes at least every other time I use them. I don't touch my face. I drink 4 water bottles a day. I have a minor panic attack when someone else touches my face. I mostly wear my hair out of my face.

I started this article in November. It has been a full year for me to feel confident again in my own skin.

After a full year of adjusting to a new routine, I finally found myself breaking this routine. I don't wake up an extra hour early to make sure I can do my makeup, in fact, most days I don't wear makeup. I wear my hair down and feel sassy. I accept (some) compliments.

There are good days and bad days, but I'm finally feeling like myself again.

I want to thank everyone that made me feel confident on my bad days, my roommate for letting me cry sometimes, and my mom for always gawking when I said I felt beautiful.

I want to encourage anyone who feels like they need makeup everyday to cover up an imperfection to believe in themselves. Do what makes you comfortable. Remember that there are people who love you with and without a mask of makeup.

Very few people share their acne stories publicly. Acne is so normal, but it is hard to find people online that write about their experience.

If you are having a hard time, that is okay. Take pride in the days that you feel confident. Challenge yourself to go a day without makeup even when it makes you uncomfortable. Push yourself out of your comfort zone. Love yourself from the inside out. Ask for support.

"Embrace the glorious mess that you are." - Elizabeth Gilbert