How I Stopped Controlling My Life

As a college student, nothing is more stressful than the questions "So, what are you going to do with your life?" or "What is your major?" I have changed my "plan" so many times in the past month that I have lost count, but I think I am getting there. By there I mean to the point where I accept that no one knows what we are really meant to do in our lives except God.

This is a hard concept to grasp, but a necessary one unless you want to be constantly haunted by the thought of not feeling like you are in control. By letting go of the expectations, whether it be money or a particular lifestyle, we can do something that makes us eternally happy, which in reality is what God probably had planned for us. In order to do this though we have to let go, that is the key to finding your happiness.

These thoughts most likely stem from last spring, when I declared my second major as psychology. Over the summer I took two psychology classes just to get ahead. This fall I enrolled in a social psychology course, and I hated the three classes I went to. I inevitably dropped the class. A few weeks later I changed my second major to English with a concentration in writing, editing and digital publishing. Talk about a major switch (pun intended).

I had thought that my path was to be a school psychologist, helping kids learn and treating their mental health issues in the best ways I could, until I realized that I would have to do research. Many people love the research aspect of science, but I think it is the absolute worst thing in the world, it's honestly why I dropped my one psychology class this semester.

I just had to finally accept that I couldn't force myself to do something that will just make me more money than my other alternatives. I needed to find something that I am passionate about, and I still don't really know. I have decided to let my life go where it is meant to go, with me just working as hard as I can to reach my unknown goal.

If this sounds terrifying, trust me I know, I am terrified. Where will I end up? As an English teacher? As a policymaker? As an editor for a magazine? I won't know until I get there, but as long as it feels right, then I'll know it was meant to be. I hope that you can let go of your expectations for yourself and follow your passion, because in all honesty it just feels good.

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