I am Bisexual and you need to Stop Trying To Erase My Sexuality

Being bisexual, you deal with a lot of bullshit. We have higher rates of mental illness and of being sexually assaulted than straight and lesbian women. We also get accused of being greedy or cheating. And don't even get me started on how overly sexualized bisexual women are. But, for this article, I'm going to talk about bi erasure. Bi erasure is when people act like bisexuality doesn't exist. Clearly, I'm just confused and will eventually "pick a side." I'm super confused about a lot of things, but my sexuality isn't one of them. Or people will say something like, "all bi girls are just straight and all bi guys are just gay." Or when you search for bisexual pride stuff and the only things that come up are gay pride stuff. This is called bi erasure and it is hurting the bi community.

Bi erasure happens a lot in media. It seems like every bi character ends up identifying as gay. Even in the recent Netflix movie, "Alex Strangelove," bisexuality is only used as a stepping stone to him coming out as gay. Now, I get that sometimes that's how it goes, but can we just have a bisexual character. Like, for once. Even in some shows that I love and that are very progressive, bisexual characters are only shown as straight or gay. In "The L Word," Alice identifies as bi, but is only shown with a guy like once and even joins in on biphobia occasionally.

Plus, whenever there is a bi celebrity, once they get married, they're either straight or gay. Everybody seems to forget about their identity. It's like there is this idea in society, including within the LGBTQ+ community, that you end up as either straight or gay depending on who you are in a relationship with. But that's not how it works. Sexuality isn't based on action, it's based on desire. Even if I am with a man, I'm still attracted to women; that doesn't just go away because I'm in a relationship just like how straight people can still be attracted to other people while they are in a relationship. And it also doesn't mean I'm going to cheat (but that is a whole other article).

Things are getting better for bisexuals. We do still have shows, like "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend," where bisexuals are just bisexual and it's not a way to show them become gay or to be confused or whatever. And now more singers are coming out as bisexual, like Cardi B, and bringing more visibility to our lives and our struggles.

Bisexuals exist whether or not you agree with our identity or believe we actually like all genders. We are shamed in a different way than other queer identities, with people suggesting we are confused, lying, or just following a trend. And it's even worse when it comes from people within the queer community. It's so easy to judge people you don't understand, but it's even easier to keep that judgment to you fucking self.