I’m not a huge fan of New Year’s Resolutions, but this year I did resolve to do two things: to live a life that is bold and to eliminate any negativity from my life that I had control over. Boldness is making decisions that will lead me closer to the ideal version of myself, it means taking chances that may seem a little out of my comfort zone at first, and it feels like celebrating the small successes.

Eliminating negativity is arguably harder than making bold choices. Being bold involves outward actions (like getting the tattoo you’ve wanted since you were 17), and eliminating negativity looks like changing patterns and rituals of thought and thinking about the relationships you have in your life. The hardest part is thinking about these relationships.

College is the one time in our lives where we have access to a pool of potential friends. People from all over the country (unless you go to DePaul, then it’s all over Illinois), with a variety of interests and passions, that you can consider becoming lifelong friends with. I think at some point or another this ease of friendship can become detrimental when we have people in our lives that aren’t necessarily bringing out the best in us or encouraging us to continue to think positively about ourselves. I’m not talking about friends who necessarily make you make bad choices; I’m referring to the people who don’t encourage you to continue to grow into the beautiful, ever-changing, and learning composite that is you.

In my case, these relationships make me feel small.

And that’s not what I want. Friendships that make me feel small mean that I don’t feel like the strong, smart, capable woman I am. These friendships make me second-guess my worth, and they drive me into patterns of negative thoughts. Although these kinds of people may be fun friends that I might have plenty in common with, they don’t force me to grow beyond who I am right now.

It is difficult to notice these kinds of friendships and realize that they might not be the best for you at this stage in your life. But above all, this is the time that you are learning how to grow into an adult who will do wonderful things. You need people in your life right now who are going to challenge the crap out of you, force you to remember your worth at all times, and celebrate your victories. You don’t need people who make you feel small.