1. "Do you prefer guys or girls?"
This may come as a complete shock to you, but when I'm looking for a romantic partner, I place higher value with characteristics like honesty, gentleness, and complementary ideals than I do with whether my partner needs to wear a cup when they play sports or not. Crazy, right? It's almost like I date like everyone else in the world does, looking for someone I could potentially care about and mesh with.
2. "I totally get you. I made out with someone of the same sex at a party once."
WOW, NEAT! I played a game of soccer at a family reunion five years ago, so, like, David Beckham and I just, like, GET one another. Just kidding; I'm eye-rolling into a dimension where your dismissive false relevancy doesn't exist.
3. "You're not gay. You have a boyfriend!"
They call it "bisexual," dude. They don't call it "simultaneousexual". Also, for the record and just in case you don't mean to be such a tool, "no you aren't" is the most inappropriate response to someone sharing with you a part of their identity.
4. "I bet your boyfriend/girlfriend loves that they get to have threesomes."
Did you... did you hear what I said? I said, "I'm bisexual." What I did not say was, "I enjoy and frequently engage in group sex with whosoever chooses to request it from me." Are you even listening? Hello?
5. "So you're, like, a cheater, then."
If you're a heterosexual person in a monogamous relationship, do you rip your clothes off and jump in bed with every other person of the opposite sex you find attractive? If you're a homosexual person in a monogamous relationship, do you rip your clothes off and jump in bed with every other person of your sex you find attractive? If no because that's inappropriate and dishonest, we share that ideal. If yes, why are you like this?
For the record, every person who has cheated on me has been straight. Maybe y'all should get that figured out, straight people.
6. "Bisexuality isn't a real thing."
I can assure you that it is. I can't prove it to you because I'm not into exhibitionism, but trust me. It's real.
7. The worse alternative to #6: "Bisexuals aren't real."
I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE?
8. "You'll grow out of it!"
I once had this really cool pair of jeans, but I grew out of them. I used to be a thumb sucker, but I grew out of that. I preferred straight-across bangs for the first fourteen or so years of my life, but I grew out of that. A significant part of my identity isn't a trend or a bad habit, though. Hopefully you'll grow out of being a tactless baboon. Time will tell.
9. "God doesn't approve of that."
When I spent a year converting to Roman Catholicism, I had many, many talks with my priest about my sexual identity and God's opinion of it. The Father assured me that God cares a lot more about me being decent, respectful, selfless, and kind than who I choose to date. Of note, though, God doesn't approve of you being so judgmental, Grandma.
10. "I bet your parents were pissed when you told them!"
My dad was pissed when I dropped out to move to Hawaii. My mom was pissed when I dyed my hair blue at a sleepover. My parents have only been pissed about my romantic life once, and that was when I made the reckless decision to forgive and get back together with one of you notorious cheating Straights.
