According to our good friend, Merriam-Webster, settling down means "to live a quiet and steady life." So my question is, why do we consider marriage settling down? I am engaged to my very best friend and I am so excited to do life together. We have plans to travel and see the world and let me tell you, it is so much more fun to make these plans with someone you will be spending forever with.
The other day, I was at work and another employee was questioning why anyone would want to get married and settle down so young (I'm 22). So I paused for a moment and just looked at him and said, "but I don't consider marriage as settling down." This wasn't the first time I have heard from someone say, "you are young, go see the world" or "you have your whole life to settle down." But I am not settling down. I am making a life for myself.
Marriage shouldn't be a death sentence. Your wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. I mean, who wants to be standing at the alter thinking, "oh crap, does this mean I can't leave the state?" NO. Marriage does not mean that you have to stay in one place for the rest of your life. Marriage should mean the opposite. It should be this adventure, this great big beautiful adventure that you now get to embark on with your best friend. I mean, how great is that? You can actually make five year and 10 year plans and stick to them. You can finally start long-term planning for the trip of your life.
Marriage does not mean you have to have children right away or at all for that matter. It does not mean that you now have to go buy a house if that isn't what you want to do. And it does not mean you are now have to get a 9-5 desk job in a cubicle. All it means is that you now have somebody to come home to every night and wake up to every morning. You now have someone to sit beside on the plane, instead of that gross smelly guy, or someone to split hotel costs with. The best part? Marriage means you no longer have to make every decision yourself.
Personally, I hate making decisions. I am so indecisive and I really just love to please everyone and now I don't have to make every decision myself. Should we go to London or France next? Should we take a morning flight or evening? You can now rationally plan these types of things with someone else -- the pressure is off.
Now let me tell you, just because you are married, does not mean you can't travel alone. I have heard people upset that now they can't go off on their own and have their own adventure, all because they got married. But why? Why can't you travel alone and see the world through your own eyes? My fiance and I have traveled together, we have traveled alone and both are equally great. Because even though you may be backpacking through Amsterdam by yourself, you now have someone to call about that cute little coffee shop you found or you have someone to bring home a souvenir for. You have someone and that is what is important.
Stop saying marriage is settling down. It's not. Go see the world. Go with your loved one, or by yourself, either way is perfectly fine. Don't let society tell you that just because you found love before they did, you are now restrained. Go live your life and be happy.
