Stop Letting Your Insecurities Ruin Your Life

Stop Letting Your Insecurities Ruin Your Life

You're only hurting yourself
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Imagine this: You’re having a nice time with your friends, you’re out at a concert, you’re hearing an artist that you LOVE and you’ve been looking forward to it for - forever. You and your friends are having a blast. You guys are enjoying the show, and you’re taking videos and snapping pictures like crazy. You want everyone to join in on this amazing experience with you. After the show is over, you go home. You lay in your bed, your ears still ringing from the loudspeakers, but you’re happy. You start to go through your pictures and your heart sinks. You don’t look as good as thought you did. You don’t look as good as you felt. Immediately, you roll your eyes. All the joy from that incredible experience has faded. You start thinking about how you’re never wearing that outfit again. You start to point out all the places you think you look fat, and wonder, why you're nose, looks big, and your eyes look lopsided. There’s no way you’re sharing those pictures now.

Now imagine this: Next time you go to a show, you’re a little more reserved. You don’t want to just smile and have fun- instead, you’re worrying about what you look like, and how your outfit looks on you. All your pictures have to be posed just right, and you end up missing some of a great night because of your insecurities.

But why? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we think that we have to be perfect all the time?

In a way it’s biblical to strive for “perfection” We are supposed to want to be like Jesus, who was perfect. But the kind of perfection that Jesus was/is is nothing like society’s definition of perfection. We’re so obsessed with our looks in our society, but apparently, God doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal, here’s what the bible has to say about what Jesus looked like: “There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him.” (Isaiah 53:2) Basically, Jesus was not exactly the kind to stand out in a crowd, definitely not the kind of guy you expected to be the son of God. But He is.

Jesus’ perfection was because everything about Him was holy and pure. He never had a bad or selfish intention in His whole life. But our view of perfection has little to do with what’s inside and everything to do with how we appear.

When we’re so caught up in our appearance it sucks the fun and enjoyment out of everything. When we see pictures of ourselves that aren’t necessarily the most flattering all we can focus on is how bad we look and everything we want to change about ourselves instead of stopping to remember the moment that the photo was taken in. Maybe you were sitting in a weird way because you and all your friends were squeezed on a couch so that you could all fit, and someone told a joke right as the camera was about to go off. That moment is a fun and sweet moment, and because all you can think about is your outward appearance you’ve practically forgotten it. You banish the picture and beg all your friends not to post it anywhere. But why? Why do we have to let our insecurities and idea of perfection ruin our moments and memories?

Oh- wait… We don’t!

We’re all buying into the idea that to be beautiful is to always look like a picture straight out of a magazine. But that’s just not true. These days, the pictures in magazines don’t even actually look like the people who modeled them because of all the photoshop and editing.

To be beautiful you just have to be. You have to love, and you have to be able to just enjoy a moment. It’s beautiful to be free, to be vulnerable, to be kind, to be happy, to be loving and caring. It’s beautiful to be more in love with moments than the pictures that come from them. Who cares if you don’t always look like a million bucks, if you feel like a million bucks then what does it matter? It really doesn’t. Stop letting your insecurities ruin life’s greatest moments. You’re the only one who’s missing out.

Cover Image Credit: We Capture

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22 New Things That I Want To Try Now That I'm 22

A bucket list for my 22nd year.

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"I don't know about you but I'm feelin' 22," I have waited 6 long years to sing that and actually be 22! Now 22 doesn't seem like a big deal to people because you can't do anything that you couldn't do before and you're still super young. But I'm determined to make my 22nd year a year filled with new adventures and new experiences. So here's to 22.

1. Go sky diving.

What's crazier than jumping out of a plane? (Although I'll probably try indoor skydiving first.)

2. Go cliff jumping/diving.

I must be the only Rhode Islander who hasn't gone to Jamestown and jumped off a cliff.

3. Ride in a hor air balloon.

Up, up and away.

4. Try out skiing.

Cash me in the next Olympics, how bout dat.

5. Try out snow boarding.

Shawn White, I'm coming for you.

6. Go bungee jumping.

Because at least this time I'll be attached to something.

7. Go to Portugal.

I mean I'm Portuguese so I have to go at some point, right?

8. Go to Cape Verde.

Once again, I'm Cape Verdean so I have to go.

9. Vist one of the seven wonders of the world.

I mean hey, Egypt's on, my bucket list.

10. Try out surfing.

It's only natural that somebody from the Ocean State knows how to surf.

11. Learn a new langauge.

Because my little bit of Portuguese, Spanish and Latin isn't cutting it anymore.

12. Travel to a state that I've never been to before.

Fun fact: I've only been to 17 of the 50 states.

13. Go paddle boarding.

Pretty boring but I've never done it.

14. Go scuba diving.

I'm from the Ocean State so I guess I should see the ocean up close and personal.

15. Learn how to line dance.

There's actually a barn in my state that does line dancing, so this one will definitely get crossed off.

16. Go kayaking.

All this water around me and I haven't done a lot of the water activites.

17. Stay the night in a haunted hotel room.

I bet if I got my friends to come with me, it would be like the Suite Life of Zach and Cody episode, minus the ghost coming out of the wall but you never know.

18. Get my palms read.

Because who doesn't want to know their future.

19. Go to a medium.

Like a medium that can communicate with people that have died.

20. Take a helicopter ride.

Air plane: check Helicopter:....

21. Sleep under the stars.

Because sleeping in a tent is more like glamping than camping

22. Just to try new things in my everyday life.

Whether it's trying a new restaurant, getting something different at my usual restaurants, changing my usual style, going on the scary rides at amusement parks, and bringing things I used to do back into my life now.

Cover Image Credit:

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It's 2018, Time To Stop Judging Women Based Off Of If They Wear Makeup Or Not

If a girl wants to wear make up everyday, then that is great for her. If not, that is equally as great.

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It seems like in this day and age, everyone has an opinion towards other people. Now usually, that opinion is not needed nor necessary but this generation always feels the need to insert themselves in other people's lives. What really grinds my gears is when girls post a photo of themselves and random strangers tear these girls apart for either not wearing makeup or wearing too much makeup.

I can easily sum up the point of the article in one sentence: Girls do not go natural or wear makeup to please you!

A girl doesn't wake up one morning and think "maybe I will put makeup on so I can please all the strangers I don't know." If a girl feels comfortable going natural, she will go natural. If a girl wants to put makeup on because SHE likes it, then she will definitely sit in front of her mirror and beautify herself.

When a girl posts a selfie on Twitter or Instagram, you should not feel entitled to comment on the photo saying, "you wear way too much makeup" or "maybe you should try wearing makeup." Not only can that mess with a girl's self-esteem but quite frankly it is also none of your business what a girl does with her own body and her own life.

All girls are beautiful in their own ways; no two girls are the same. Some girls like makeup and some don't. It is as simple as that. You judging a girl based on if she wears makeup or not is honestly childish and I don't understand why you do it. There is no point to you doing it except for you to be negative and try to bring people down.

If girls wanted your opinion, they would ask for it. If their photo comment does not say "should I go natural today?" or "how is my makeup?" then your opinion does not matter and is invalid.

What makes these comments worse is that they normally come from other girls!

Come on ladies! We are supposed to be sticking together, not tearing each other apart. It is one thing when a straight guy comments on the photo but it is a complete bummer when I see girls tearing down other girls.

I just don't understand it. As a girl, why would you want to tear another girl down? Why would you want to tear anybody down? I always think it is a jealousy issue. I feel like jealousy plays a big role in tearing down other girls' self-esteem but if you're jealous of a girl then just comment that? A simple "wow, I'm so jealous that you can be so natural/wear makeup" is way better than "maybe you should wear makeup" because you're jealous that you feel like you can't go natural or "you wear way too much makeup" because you're jealous that you can't pull that look off.

Let me tell you girls something: all of you are beautiful. You may think you need to wear makeup; you don't. You may think that you look ugly when you are all natural; you don't. You may think that your makeup doesn't make you look any better; it might and it might not. As long as you have confidence in who you are, you will be beautiful. Makeup doesn't define whether or not you are beautiful, confidence does.

It is 2018. Judging girls for (not) wearing makeup should not be something anybody does anymore. We, as people, need to see the beauty in others and realize that what we say to people can hurt them. The saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all" really gets put into play here.

We should be building girls up, not tearing them down. We should not be asserting our opinions where they are not needed nor wanted. Ultimately, we should not be judging girls when we don't know them or their stories personally. We don't know why they wear makeup or why they don't and for you to judge them about it says more about you than it does about them.

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