My Appearance Doesn't Determine My Sexuality

My Hair And Clothes Should Not, And Do Not, Determine My Sexuality

Just because my hair is short doesn't mean I'm a lesbian.


I've always been both girly and tomboyish. I loved my Barbie dolls and wearing long flowy dresses and getting manicures. I also enjoyed playing in the mud and helping my dad work on his truck and playing soccer. I found it easy to balance both the girly and boyish hobbies that I enjoyed, never seeing an issue with any of it.

In third grade, I cut my hair short. Really short. And that's when the mockery began. All the kids in my class would say I looked like a boy. It took a while for my hair to grow and I was miserable going to class because I knew I would be made fun of for my hair. If I sat a certain way, the girls would say I was acting like a boy, so of course my hair cut didn't help.

Peep me in the middle with very short hair.

In high school, I hadn't learned my lesson and had cut my hair short again. I thought my body was developed enough to make the leap and cut my hair, but I was wrong. I had braces and short hair and wore pullover sweaters with my shirt collar popped out. I played soccer and enjoyed skateboarding and wanted to hang out with the guys. It was a recipe for humiliation.

Kids would poke fun at me and ask if I was a dike or a lesbian. I didn't understand why the length of my hair or the clothes I wore determined my sexuality. I didn't see a need to wear my shirt unbuttoned to show what little cleavage I had or wear bows or ribbons in my hair. I had a boyfriend for most of high school, but still, the fact that I wore bootcut jeans and cut up muscle tees meant that I was a lesbian to everyone.


In college, I cut my hair once more as a dramatic decision, thinking that I was finally comfortable enough in my own skin. And, as life seems to repeat itself, I was once again called a lesbian. I've been in a relationship for two years now, with a man, and am still called a lesbian. My hair is short, I dress comfortably, and that must mean that I'm a homosexual.

Feeling confident after a new style.

I have absolutely nothing against lesbians. Love who you love, you do you. I believe that the way a person likes to dress does not define their sexuality. I find t-shirts and jeans very comfortable. Boyfriend jeans, low rise with a loose feel, and a snug-fitting crop top is my favorite kind of outfit. On more than one occasion, however, I was told I looked like a lesbian.

Friends of my friends will say, "when I first met you, I thought you were a lesbian." Why is that? Is it because I like to dress comfortably? Because I'm confident? Because I'm comfortable with my sexuality and am not afraid to tell another woman she's beautiful? Why do my old t-shirts and bike shorts make me a lesbian, but it makes every other girl cute and approachable?

A casual look, paired with makeup, yet I knew people would be questioning me.

So does my outfit determine my sexuality? Do people ignore fact that I'm in a relationship with a man and have never been with a woman? Why do people like to label me as a lesbian when they know nothing about me or my lifestyle? I'm comfortable enough to undress in front of another woman or to say that another woman is hot, and I easily make friends with guys and can have a conversation with them about anything. It's always going to be an issue for other women because they can't wrap their heads around someone whose sexuality isn't an issue to them.

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Top 5 Best Dress Websites To Shop At

These websites are sure to help you find what you're looking for!

It's that time of year again! With prom, sorority/fraternity formals, weddings, and graduation parties all coming up there are so many different reasons you'll need to go shopping for a new dress. However, dress shopping can be stressful and with so many different stores/websites available it can the experience extremely overwhelming. Below I have narrowed down the top five best websites to shop at that will be sure to meet all your dress needs:

1. Tobi

Tobi is one of my favorite dress websites! The site offers a wide variety of dress options at very affordable prices. Every time I have ordered a dress from Tobi I have been able to get it for half of the original price listed. Anytime I need to buy a dress, Tobi is the first website I go to.

2. Boohoo

Boohoo is a global fashion retailer offering thousands of styles across both menswear and womenswear. Out of all five of these websites, Boohoo's clothing is the least expensive option. On top of their already low prices, Boohoo is always offering discount codes on their website for up to 50% off.

3. Lulus

Though Lulus is the most expensive of the five websites, in my opinion, their products are of the highest quality. Both of the dresses I have ordered from this site were made with thick material and fit true to size. If you have the money saved up, I highly recommend buying a dress from this website.

4. Missguided

Missguided is a website that I have recently become familiar with and is the best website to shop at if you are in need of a more formal dress. There is even a section for affordable prom dresses! The best part about this website is that they always offer a student discount.

5. Showpo

Disclaimer: I haven't actually ordered anything from this site myself, however, a lot of my friends swear by Showpo. The online boutique offers a unique product variety offering clothing options you can't find elsewhere. Every time I have worn anything from the site, I have always received compliments. The only downside of Showpo is that it takes longer than other websites to ship their products to the United States because the company is based in Australia.

These websites are sure to help you find what you're looking for!

Cover Image Credit: milbprospective

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The Met Gala 2019: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

We'll just ignore the fact I won't ever be invited to The Met Gala.


I'm not much of an awards show kind of person and I don't care much for fashion week, but the Met Gala — that's a whole other story. I love the unconventional looks, I love the creativity and I love the art behind the fashion. That being said, my biggest pet peeve with the Met Gala, is people who do not follow the theme! Why spend $35,000 on a ticket (if you made it onto the guest list) and not follow the theme?

The 2019 Met Gala theme was 'Camp: Notes on Fashion'. The idea of Camp is to be outrageous, ironic or just plain humorous. So this wasn't the time for subtly. Let's start with the ugly.

Ugly, to me, are people who didn't even try to fit the theme. So I'm talking plain black dresses, regular suits, etc. The top three ugly Met Gala fits: Liam Hemsworth, Kanye West and Rihanna.

I know, I know the burning question – RIHANNA? It hurts to say. But the Queen of the Met Gala, who kills it every year, was nowhere in sight and that was terribly painful.

Liam Hemsworth, also pains me to say, but the plain tux was not cute for Camp. We could've had emerald green accents to compliment Miley Cyrus' outfit. An emerald tie, emerald shoes, something Liam!

Kanye West didn't bother with a suit, which is forgivable in the case of Camp, but instead went with what's being reported as a $40 black Dickies jacket along with black pants and shoes. According to Kim Kardashian, he did this to let her be the star of the red carpet, but I mean, come on. It's the MET GALA.

Now onto the bad. To me, the bad are people who it is apparent they tried, but I know they could've popped off harder. My top three are James Charles, Harry Styles and Tracy Ellis Ross.

Again this is all painful, but starting with the co-chair of the Met Gala himself- Harry Styles. Now Harry looked good, as always, but he just wore a black jumpsuit with a partially see-through top. I know Harry could've gone harder!

Next is Tracy Ellis Ross. She wore a black dress with a golden frame around her head. Which again, there was effort, but there was nothing outrageous or crazy about the fit.

And lastly, James Charles. Unlike some of Twitter, I had no problem with YouTubers being invited to the Met Gala because they are making huge waves in our society. However, I did have a problem with James' outfit. Compared to his creative makeup looks and his Coachella outfits that are known to spark conversation. I know he could have done much better with this creative theme.

Now for the good! To me, good is people who nailed the theme and who killed the red carpet. My top three in this category are: Ciara, Jared Leto and Janelle Monae.

These people really brought the art with them, which was amazing and the put effort into every aspect of their looks.

Ciara wore an emerald green, sparkling full-length dress and had a huge afro with green eye makeup. The look was stunning and head turning. There was no subtly about it.

Jared Leto wore a red full-length robe that was decorated with silver jewels and he carried a wax figure of his own head. Very artistic and a little absurd, just the way Camp intended.

And Janelle Monae used a hot pink, black and white palette. With about five hats of different sizes on her head, a color block dress and facial features embedded into the dress and a purse that completed the face. It was out of the ordinary and super extra.

Lastly, here are some people who killed the Met Gala but they always do so there was no surprise. Here are my top two Met Gala royals: Zendaya and Lady Gaga.

Lady Gaga is usually the Queen of Camp in general. There was no way she wasn't going to kill the Met Gala. Gaga had four outfit changes, each outfit smaller than the last. Lady Gaga's look was stellar and even with less fabric she still achieved the head-turning fashion that is Camp.

Zendaya kills the Met Gala every year. She is always on theme and always looks amazing. This year she wore a Cinderella-inspired look complete with glass slippers and a Fairy Godbrother who used his wand to make a smoky transformation for Zendaya. In addition, Zendaya left a glass slipper behind and wore a pink dress to the after party. This also fell into the Camp theme for its extravagance and for the irony. Zendaya started with Disney Channel and just recently ended her partnership with Disney, she has been moving on to more adult roles in movies and TV shows.

These were my thoughts on the good, the bad and the ugly of the 2019 Met Gala.


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