My Appearance Doesn't Determine My Sexuality | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

My Hair And Clothes Should Not, And Do Not, Determine My Sexuality

Just because my hair is short doesn't mean I'm a lesbian.

148
Personal Photo
Elisa Nuñez-Rodriguez Personal Photo

I've always been both girly and tomboyish. I loved my Barbie dolls and wearing long flowy dresses and getting manicures. I also enjoyed playing in the mud and helping my dad work on his truck and playing soccer. I found it easy to balance both the girly and boyish hobbies that I enjoyed, never seeing an issue with any of it.

In third grade, I cut my hair short. Really short. And that's when the mockery began. All the kids in my class would say I looked like a boy. It took a while for my hair to grow and I was miserable going to class because I knew I would be made fun of for my hair. If I sat a certain way, the girls would say I was acting like a boy, so of course my hair cut didn't help.

Peep me in the middle with very short hair.

In high school, I hadn't learned my lesson and had cut my hair short again. I thought my body was developed enough to make the leap and cut my hair, but I was wrong. I had braces and short hair and wore pullover sweaters with my shirt collar popped out. I played soccer and enjoyed skateboarding and wanted to hang out with the guys. It was a recipe for humiliation.

Kids would poke fun at me and ask if I was a dike or a lesbian. I didn't understand why the length of my hair or the clothes I wore determined my sexuality. I didn't see a need to wear my shirt unbuttoned to show what little cleavage I had or wear bows or ribbons in my hair. I had a boyfriend for most of high school, but still, the fact that I wore bootcut jeans and cut up muscle tees meant that I was a lesbian to everyone.

1

In college, I cut my hair once more as a dramatic decision, thinking that I was finally comfortable enough in my own skin. And, as life seems to repeat itself, I was once again called a lesbian. I've been in a relationship for two years now, with a man, and am still called a lesbian. My hair is short, I dress comfortably, and that must mean that I'm a homosexual.


Feeling confident after a new style.

I have absolutely nothing against lesbians. Love who you love, you do you. I believe that the way a person likes to dress does not define their sexuality. I find t-shirts and jeans very comfortable. Boyfriend jeans, low rise with a loose feel, and a snug-fitting crop top is my favorite kind of outfit. On more than one occasion, however, I was told I looked like a lesbian.

Friends of my friends will say, "when I first met you, I thought you were a lesbian." Why is that? Is it because I like to dress comfortably? Because I'm confident? Because I'm comfortable with my sexuality and am not afraid to tell another woman she's beautiful? Why do my old t-shirts and bike shorts make me a lesbian, but it makes every other girl cute and approachable?

A casual look, paired with makeup, yet I knew people would be questioning me.

So does my outfit determine my sexuality? Do people ignore fact that I'm in a relationship with a man and have never been with a woman? Why do people like to label me as a lesbian when they know nothing about me or my lifestyle? I'm comfortable enough to undress in front of another woman or to say that another woman is hot, and I easily make friends with guys and can have a conversation with them about anything. It's always going to be an issue for other women because they can't wrap their heads around someone whose sexuality isn't an issue to them.
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Gilmore Girls
Hypable

In honor of Mother’s Day, I have been thinking of all the things my mom does for my family and me. Although I couldn’t write nearly all of them, here are a few things that moms do for us.

They find that shirt that’s right in front of you, but just you can’t seem to find.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

10 Reasons To Thank Your Best Friend

Take the time to thank that one friend in your life you will never let go of.

6170
Thank You on wooden blocks

1. Thank you for being the one I can always count on to be honest.

A true friend will tell you if the shirt is ugly, or at least ask to borrow it and "accidentally" burn it.

2. Thank you for accepting me for who I am.

A best friend will love you regardless of the stale french fries you left on the floor of your car, or when you had lice in 8th grade and no one wanted to talk to you.

Keep Reading...Show less
sick student
StableDiffusion

Everybody gets sick once in a while, but getting sick while in college is the absolute worst. You're away from home and your mom who can take care of you and all you really want to do is just be in your own bed. You feel like you will have never-ending classwork to catch up on if you miss class, so you end up going sick and then it just takes longer to get better. Being sick in college is really tough and definitely not a fun experience. Here are the 15 stages that everyone ends up going through when they are sick at college.

Keep Reading...Show less
kid
Janko Ferlic
Do as I say, not as I do.

Your eyes widen in horror as you stare at your phone. Beads of sweat begin to saturate your palm as your fingers tremble in fear. The illuminated screen reads, "Missed Call: Mom."

Growing up with strict parents, you learn that a few things go unsaid. Manners are everything. Never talk back. Do as you're told without question. Most importantly, you develop a system and catch on to these quirks that strict parents have so that you can play their game and do what you want.

Keep Reading...Show less
friends
tv.com

"Friends" maybe didn’t have everything right or realistic all the time, but they did have enough episodes to create countless reaction GIFs and enough awesomeness to create, well, the legacy they did. Something else that is timeless, a little rough, but memorable? Living away from the comforts of home. Whether you have an apartment, a dorm, your first house, or some sort of residence that is not the house you grew up in, I’m sure you can relate to most of these!

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments