I've always been both girly and tomboyish. I loved my Barbie dolls and wearing long flowy dresses and getting manicures. I also enjoyed playing in the mud and helping my dad work on his truck and playing soccer. I found it easy to balance both the girly and boyish hobbies that I enjoyed, never seeing an issue with any of it.
In third grade, I cut my hair short. Really short. And that's when the mockery began. All the kids in my class would say I looked like a boy. It took a while for my hair to grow and I was miserable going to class because I knew I would be made fun of for my hair. If I sat a certain way, the girls would say I was acting like a boy, so of course my hair cut didn't help.
Peep me in the middle with very short hair.
In high school, I hadn't learned my lesson and had cut my hair short again. I thought my body was developed enough to make the leap and cut my hair, but I was wrong. I had braces and short hair and wore pullover sweaters with my shirt collar popped out. I played soccer and enjoyed skateboarding and wanted to hang out with the guys. It was a recipe for humiliation.
Kids would poke fun at me and ask if I was a dike or a lesbian. I didn't understand why the length of my hair or the clothes I wore determined my sexuality. I didn't see a need to wear my shirt unbuttoned to show what little cleavage I had or wear bows or ribbons in my hair. I had a boyfriend for most of high school, but still, the fact that I wore bootcut jeans and cut up muscle tees meant that I was a lesbian to everyone.
In college, I cut my hair once more as a dramatic decision, thinking that I was finally comfortable enough in my own skin. And, as life seems to repeat itself, I was once again called a lesbian. I've been in a relationship for two years now, with a man, and am still called a lesbian. My hair is short, I dress comfortably, and that must mean that I'm a homosexual.
Feeling confident after a new style.
I have absolutely nothing against lesbians. Love who you love, you do you. I believe that the way a person likes to dress does not define their sexuality. I find t-shirts and jeans very comfortable. Boyfriend jeans, low rise with a loose feel, and a snug-fitting crop top is my favorite kind of outfit. On more than one occasion, however, I was told I looked like a lesbian.
Friends of my friends will say, "when I first met you, I thought you were a lesbian." Why is that? Is it because I like to dress comfortably? Because I'm confident? Because I'm comfortable with my sexuality and am not afraid to tell another woman she's beautiful? Why do my old t-shirts and bike shorts make me a lesbian, but it makes every other girl cute and approachable?
A casual look, paired with makeup, yet I knew people would be questioning me.
