Dear everyone in the world of technology and instant messaging,
It's hard not to agree that we all expect people to respond right away to texts, calls, emails, etc. If not right away, then they should definitely respond when they have a down moment. The problem is, with technology's notifications always lurking in the back of our mind (or in the front), we never have down moments. It's inhuman. I’ve recently realized that I deserve better, and you definitely deserve better, too--you know you want a break. It's time for a reality check, and it all comes down to respect.
Respect for Others
When I am spending time with people, I want to put my all into being present in that moment with them. I want to respect their time by giving them my full attention. And when I'm with friends, I just want to have fun together! Does this sound like you? I’ve learned that this is impossible if you are constantly checking emails, answering calls or even sending a quick Snap here and there. Eventually, you’ll be with the people that you’re talking to via social networking and cellular data, except you’ll be on my phone with the people that you were originally with! Think about it--this is an endless cycle. At what point do you break the cycle and enjoy time face-to-face with people, rather than through a screen? Isn't it more respectful, beneficial, caring and enjoyable to put your all into meaningful and quality time that you spend directly with people?
It's OK to not respond now because you want to be "all in" in every connection you have with people.
Also, if you are not in the mindset for a certain conversation, or are literally too busy to respond in the way you want or need to, you can (and should) wait! This way you can give the best that you can give, and have more time to process each message and what you want to say. This especially applies if you receive something that makes you react emotionally – you may need time to clear your head and see everything with a fresh, calm perspective before you say anything. Each recipient deserves your best.
Respect for Self
Just because you finally "have time" to respond does not mean that you are required to respond. I've realized that you deserve to treat yourself in the way you would treat others. Give yourself time. With endless notifications, you deprive yourself of time to take in what's going on around you, and time to reflect. Let your phone do the thinking about who's saying what - that's it's job. Give your brain time to be free and creative. This doesn't happen when a cluttered to do list is floating around in your noggin. You shouldn't have to use an excuse in order for your delay to be acceptable. You deserve stress-free time to eat a meal, go on a hike or even just stare at a wall without worry.
If someone can see that you’ve read a message, they should respect your decision to wait to respond, because you respect them.
So, people of this world of NOW NOW NOW, I challenge you to change your tech-spectations.
Take breaks from your phone/tablet/laptop and allow others time and space, too. Try eating dinner with your phone hidden in a drawer. Turn off your push notifications. Keep your phone in your pocket the next time you're in line at the grocery store. Heck, strike up a conversation with your line neighbor! Make a list of everything you love doing and everyone you love being with, and consider how your tech habits both positively and negatively affect these things. You may surprise yourself with how refreshing just a few minutes of technology--less time can really be. Besides, think of generations past-- it'd take a few days and a carriage ride to pass a message along!
And, yes, respond eventually.
Just don't be afraid to wait.
Sincerely,
Girl born in the wrong generation
