Stop Confusing Introversion With Low Self Esteem
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Stop Confusing Introversion With Low Self Esteem

I am not shy, so let’s set the record straight.

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Stop Confusing Introversion With Low Self Esteem
Brandy Melville/ Instagram

I am quiet, not shy.

“Shy” is, unfortunately, something that people call me a lot. I say “unfortunately” because it is incredibly wrong. I am not shy. I think that the word “shy” often comes with a connotation of insecurity, low self-esteem, and a lack of confidence. I am quiet but I’m definitely not insecure. I’m not afraid to speak to people or have conversations. I am just quiet. I am an introvert.

If I read one more article telling me things I should do to be extroverted that includes “having confidence,” I just might explode.

You can be an extrovert with low self-esteem, so frankly, this argument annoys me beyond all measure. I am very confident and I have very good social skills. I just need time to myself to recharge. There is NOTHING wrong with that. Believe it or not, I don’t have a burning desire to be an extrovert— hate to burst your bubble, extroverts.

Let me get back to my point though. I am not shy. Sometimes I am quiet, but if you consider "quiet" a synonym for "shy," you are sorely mistaken. I can be very entertaining and talkative in social situations, but sometimes I decide I’d rather be quiet. There are times when I just want to take it all in. Sometimes, I get lost in my thoughts that are so loud I don’t even think about talking.

I think people are too loud sometimes. I sometimes associate loudness with insecurity actually. Perhaps it’s because I have the ability to be quiet that I can really study other people’s behavior. I think this has allowed me to pick up on the insecurity that people try to hide between meaningless banter, obnoxious jokes, and over the top laughter. Perhaps people use noise to masque their lack of confidence. Maybe some people are loud because they’re afraid to be quiet.

Of course, society doesn’t really accept this train of thought because we, as a society, are afraid of silence.

I am often quiet, but my thoughts are very loud. I am not shy, so let’s set the record straight. I can do anything an extrovert can do— and more because I embrace the silence. I can watch my surroundings carefully, analyzing everyone and everything. I am confident, but you may find me to be a little quiet.

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