Have you ever felt like you're the only person struggling? Have you ever claimed to know that someone has no problems? I have. Our generation is adept at creating facades of perfection. We often feel obliged to portray our lives in a blissful, exemplary state. We can live in a messy room for weeks on end, but will not invite a friend over until the room is spotless. We say "I’m doing well" whenever we’re asked the question "How are you?" Yes, occasionally we feel brave enough to deviate from the routine "I'm doing well" response, and instead we say “I'm okay” in order to indicate that we are not fantastic, but certainly not bad as that would imply weakness and god forbid we appear weak. Social media helps us easily portray a facade of perfection by allowing us to carefully curate a social media image. Essentially social media platforms act as the setting for the musical of Our Fake, Perfect Lives. Real life constitutes of highs, lows, and everything in between, whereas a perfect life solely consists of highs that are often contrived for a photo op. The world doesn’t see the multiple pictures Mary took before posting that serene beach picture with the caption “no worries," and even though Mary was abnormally stressed before writing the caption "no worries," the world perceives her as a carefree teen.
It is incredibly easy to think that you’re the only person who is challenged, scared, sad, or unhappy; however, you are not alone. It just so happens that everyone is a master at hiding their shortcomings. Every once in a while someone loses focus and you can see through their facade of perfection. I’m as guilty as anyone as I’m rarely seen without a smile even during times when it is much easier to frown. In some ways our fake lives of perfection are beneficial; they act as silent motivators that push us to overcome the challenging moments in an effort to have our real lives resemble our perfect lives. However, fake smiles are detrimental to our society because not everyone realizes that behind every smile is times of frowns. This is a concept I struggled with until I started to analyze my surroundings.
This month I have been subtly reminded that despite one's exterior appearance of perfection, everyone has a struggle in their life. It is impossible to know everyone’s challenges as even those who are open books leave something off in their table of contents. Last weekend, I had the opportunity to speak with several business owners at my father's business convention. I spent most of the night conversing with an older gentleman in his late 70’s who traveled to every state in America and over 30 countries. Most of the night, we discussed his favorite travel destinations, but at some point in the conversation we touched on the colleges his two children attended. His son went to George Washington University, and his daughter went to the University of Michigan. Some time passed and the topic of conversation shifted to his favorite collectible, which was a glove signed by one of America's greatest catchers, Mike Piazza. He explained that this glove was given to his son, the one who attended GW and was a catcher for their baseball team. The son who was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer sophomore year of college and passed away the following year. I would have never assumed that this man who appeared to have a life free from strife suffered such a tremendous loss; however, I was quick to assume that he had a perfect life. This encounter reminded me that no one has a perfect life and behind every smile is many frowns.
The goal of this article is not to encourage you to share your strife with the world. How comfortable one feels with sharing their challenges varies depending on the person, and there is no correct way to handle the struggles that life throws at you. If you feel comfortable sharing your problems with others then go for it, and if you'd rather smile through it then that's fine to. The importance of this article is to remind you that no one's life is perfect. Perfect pictures do not equate perfect lives, but rather perfect moments or moments that solely appear perfect. Moreover, before you deem another's life as perfect remember that smiles are fleeting and every life is perfectly imperfect.
