The situation is all too familiar. You’re talking to someone, maybe a family member, a friend from high school, or someone you’ve just met. The conversation shifts from topic to topic while never losing its undertone of sincerity.

But then comes the question.

Your chest encloses on a quickened heartbeat and sweat pricks the palms of your hands. Your eyes dart around, as if the answer will suddenly appear in giant, red graffiti on the wall.

But it doesn’t.

In fact, you won’t be able to find the answer anywhere (except maybe in a galaxy far, far away).

The reason people ask about future plans is out of love and genuine interest; they don’t intend to instill panic and pandemonium in millennials. But the reality is, "What do you want to do?" is a phrase that’s more than enough to send most young adults into cardiac arrest.

To be both blunt and honest, we don’t know what we want to do. Those of us lucky enough to have a major will probably change it (again), and even if we have declared a field of study, it by no means is any indication that we have the slightest clue what’s going to come after graduation.

And we’re completely OK with it.

To us, the unknown status of our future doesn’t warrant grave concern. By not narrowing our sight on one specific path, we’re allowing ourselves to take advantage of every opportunity that comes our way.

We’re meeting new people and trying new things. We’re traveling and exploring. We’re seeing for ourselves exactly what life has to offer.

We’re not being irresponsible, but that’s often what is implied when we don’t give a detailed play-by-play of our future.

It’s as if not having it all figured out at age 20 automatically means we have no chance at success.

Don’t get me wrong, we appreciate the concern and interest in our future. But the right question isn’t being asked.

Please don’t ask me what I want to do; ask me who I want to be.

Because I don’t know what job I’ll have or what company I’ll work for; I don’t know what major will be listed on my diploma or what city I’ll ultimately end up in.

But I do know who I want to be.

I want be the type of person who inspires others.

I want to be someone who isn’t afraid to take risks and be innovative.

I want to embrace challenges instead of backing down.

I want to make people laugh and feel good about themselves.

I want to give back because so much has already been given to me.

I want to love deeply and be passionate about causes I believe in.

I want to make the world, even just a small piece of it, a better place.

In fairness, I too am guilty of asking that daunting question. I’m at a school and in a city where so many people are doing incredible things, and I want to support them on their journey to greatness.

But it needs to stop.

Interests change. Jobs change. Addresses change. Some opportunities are capitalized on and others are missed completely, and they all add up as pieces of our own unique story.

A story that can’t be planned.

But that doesn’t mean the character has to change.

Your integrity, the way you make those around you feel, and the way you live out your life is a matter that has more value than a career you picked at 18 years old ever will.

Who you are is the cornerstone of your life, and it needs to be celebrated and talked about as much as, if not more than, future plans.

So please retire the "What do you want to do?" question and focus on what’s really important.

I promise we’ll get the career stuff figured out eventually.