I know what you're thinking– "Why is this 21-year-old saying that she still believes in Santa?" And I know that the headline might make you think I'm crazy. But do me a quick favor and hear me out– just for a second.

For as long as I can remember, winter has always been my favorite season and Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. As a kid, it was always about singing along to the songs playing on the radio. It was my mom handing me a dollar bill or two to put into the Salvation Army bell ringers collecting jar. It was the pillsbury Christmas cookies, carrots and milk left out on Christmas Eve for Santa. It was barely being able to go to sleep due to the excitement of Santa and his magic reindeer flying around the world, and it was waking up on Christmas morning to open presents.

This was what Christmas's were as I grew up. Watching Christmas classics, making hot chocolate, donating toys to Toys-For-Tots, having my parents' Marines over for dinner, Candy Cane collection competitions in elementary school...and the magic that was Santa Claus. But as the years went by and I got older, the thought of a man being able to travel the world, delivering presents for kids all in one night...seemed outright impossible. But I still tried to keep some faith.

I remember the first time I truly stopped believing in Santa Claus. It was my first Christmas with my dad and step-mom. They never felt the need to really celebrate Christmas, seeing as they didn't have any little kids of their own and I lived with my mom. So they didn't have a tree to put up or ornaments to decorate. But they didn't think twice about letting me pick out a tree and some ornaments to decorate with, just so they could make their home as Christmas as possible, just for me. At this point in time, I knew that the Easter Bunny and the Tooth fairy weren't real, but I still had faith in good ole Santa Claus. Normally, on Christmas Eve I'd sleep in my room, but I begged my dad to let me sleep in the living room, just in case I could catch Santa. He just chuckled and said sure, wishing me luck on catching him. I stayed up all night, making it to 3 a.m. until falling asleep. When I woke up, I expected to see the cookies on the plate in the kitchen ate, the carrots gone, the milk drank...and a few new presents underneath the tree. And when I saw that the cookies weren't touched, the milk was warm and nothing new was beneath the tree...I was completely heartbroken. It was only then did comments about Santa not being real set in.

Looking back on it now, I realize that though that Christmas was great– it truly lacked something magical...something innocent. That was the Christmas that I 'grew up' so to speak.

Now that the sob story is over, it's time to get back to what I mean by saying that I still believe in Santa Claus. I understand that Christmas is all about celebrating family and the birth of Jesus, but Christmas wouldn't feel right without the story of Santa Claus. He brings the magic to the season.

Santa Claus represents more than just presents. He embodies the traits of giving back, spreading joy, innocence and magic. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't mean that you believe in the figure of the jolly old man with red cheeks, a long white beard, and who wears a red suit. It's about seeing the Holiday season for what it's truly meant to be.

At 21-years old, I know that logically Santa Claus doesn't exist. But that doesn't mean that I don't believe in the magic and the joy of the season that he represents. Christmas to me, is the one of the happiest times of the year. It's when you can take a step back from everything and give back to people in need–whether it be by donating toys, donating a few dollars, or donating your time. It's the innocence we find in Christmas traditions, like decorating cookies, singing along to Christmas songs or even playing in the snow. It's believing in the magic of the season. That 'anything can happen,' paying it forward, heart changing, Christmas miracle, kind of magic. Most importantly, it's love. It's showing those close to you how much they mean to you. It's letting strangers know that others care.

All of these things lie within the spirit of "Santa." So no, I don't believe in Santa Claus– but that doesn't mean that I don't believe in the spirit of the season.