My quiet time has been the biggest slap in the face lately.
I love when I close my Bible and feel like I've learned something new about God. I love when the Bible shows me more of Jesus.
But sometimes, I don't like what the Bible shows me about, well, me. Because more often than not, the Bible points out my weaknesses rather than my strengths.
As I read through Acts, the end of chapter seven cut me like a knife. Stephen, full of grace and power, was performing great wonders and signs among the people (v. 8). The religious leaders didn't understand this at the time- they were confused and frustrated. Because of that, they accuse Stephen of blasphemy and order him to be stoned to death.
This is where the Holy Spirit steps in.
In Mark 13:11, Jesus says "So when they arrest you and hand you over, don't worry beforehand what you will say, but say whatever is given to you at that time, for it isn't you speaking, but the Holy Spirit." This is exactly what is happening to Stephen. While the rest of chapter seven may read like a history lesson to some, Stephen is actually giving a comprehensive history of God's people to the people who want to kill them. While this only makes the people angrier, Stephen tells the stories of God's own people and uses them as an example. Stephen provides plenty of examples of God's people resisting and ignoring God's message and even killing the messenger. In a way, he's trying to warn them and persuade them not to stone them.
They still stone him. But something amazing happens.
Scripture tells us again in verse fifty-five that Stephen was filled with the Holy Spirit. As Stephen was stoned to death, he did something unfathomable: he forgave them.
I mean, can you imagine that? Forgiving the people stoning you, as they are actually stoning you. Verse sixty tells us that he cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them!" Stephen wasn't able to say this because he was a good person or anything like that; he was able to say this because he was filled with the Holy Spirit. And only the Holy Spirit can produce that kind of radical grace and love.
While this story never ceases to amaze me, it also never ceases to make my heart ache. I struggle with forgiveness for small things sometimes, I'm guilty of sometimes walking around with a chip on my shoulder and no one is trying to stone me.
Stephen's act is so selfless. It's so real and raw that it makes my heart break because that is a small glimpse into what Jesus went through for us. Jesus is known as being selfless and forgiving- these are two defining characteristics that we praise Him for, write worship songs about, and so on. But are these characteristics of Christ that we've become content to let Him keep for Himself instead of modeling ourselves? Because I'll tell you this: modeling selflessness and forgiveness are not my strong-suits either.
But have I become accustomed to letting Jesus do the forgiving instead of me?
Here's the thing- He loves the unlovable. He forgives the unforgivable. The same Holy Spirit that Stephen was filled with now dwells in us. I pray we learn to live like Jesus in every aspect of our lives, and not just the easy ones.
Because don't forget this: we don't deserve forgiveness either.
