The first month of 2019 is already coming to a close, and I have decided that it's time for a change. I have spent most of my life scrutinizing, analyzing, and overthinking multiple aspects of my life, wondering how it would affect those around me. I have conformed to putting others first, instead of myself, walking through life between a lens. While selflessness can be a great quality to possess, a surplus of it can become harmful.
For once in my life, I am going to put myself first.
No longer am I going to constantly worry about how my decisions will affect everyone else and ignore how it will impact my life, good or bad. I am cutting out all negative energy, and focusing on all things positive. I am focusing on me, and only me, even if it means putting certain things on hold that are not meant to be at the moment. I am going through a process of self-discovery and self-love because I deserve it.
I know it's going to be a long road ahead, my insecurities and my uncertainty will definitely be a battling force. However, I believe that my happiness should come first, and I refuse to let anyone take that away from me.
Being a college student is hard; the environment can become really stressful and scary. Between balancing classes, a social life, and relationships, it can be a lot. There are pressures coming from every direction, and everyone has an opinion on how you should be handling it.
Put yourself first, and forget what everyone else thinks.
If you suddenly want to switch your major, go for it. Drop a class? Do it. Go on a date with the cute boy in the dining hall? Why not? The only person who can decide if it's worth it is you.
You have the power to be in control.
I told myself 2019 is going to be my year, and it can be yours too.