My family raised me as a Catholic Christian. Growing up, we'd go to church every Sunday. My family and I would pray every single night, and I found peace and strength within God. He has been such a huge influence in my life, and I thank Him every day for the positive light he has brought to my life.
As I got older, after my confirmation, I slowly felt myself losing touch with my spirituality, which was at one point such a huge part of my identity. I was involved in a toxic relationship, (which contained lots of love as well), and I lost touch with my religious side. Often times, I found peace in my relationship rather than in myself and God. While I do not regret my decision to be in the relationship, I do resent my decision to fall out of touch with my routine habit to attend church every Sunday and pray every night. I found my relationship to be an outlet to my problems rather than confiding in my religion. While this might not always be a bad thing, what would happen when my relationship would struggle? I felt like I had no one to turn to, yet God was there for me. And I didn't realize it.
I'm not sure if I chose Fordham University subconsciously because it is a Catholic school, but here I am! Maybe I thought it would increase my drive to start going to church again, maybe I didn't think anything of the religious community at Fordham. Regardless, I am in my second year at Fordham, and I love it here.
We are required to take two theology classes as part of our core requirements, and my first class was primarily based on atheism, spirituality, Hinduism, and other religions. I had anticipated that this class would help me get back in touch with God, but it only made me more confused. If there's a time in our lives to really discover who we are, it's now. We are teenagers seeking out our beliefs and challenging them, which is completely justified.
This past year, I've endured several hardships. The death of my grandfather alongside several others that were dear to my heart. It was my first year at college which is a new experience that most endure, which requires adaptation. Overall, 2017 was a rough year for my mental health.
I became increasingly aware that church is easily accessible to me, and something that was once a huge chunk of my life could crawl back in. Not only was accesibility a huge factor, but finding myself again contributed toward me going to church again. I've always known my background of Catholicsm was something I wanted to continue throughout my lifetime, let's just say I took a small break.
I started praying every day once again, and noticed small changes in my mood and attitude toward others. Now, I am not saying that going to church is automatically going to make you a better person. But I will say it gives you a perfect start to a mediocre Sunday, it gets you in touch with religion and makes you aware of the primary resource that we all have: God!
No matter what is going on in my life, I know He will be there for me. Prayer is the most powerful thought, in my opinion, and regardless of my circumstances, I know religion will prevail and aid me through whatever I am going through. Thankfully so, God has gotten me through some difficult times in my life, and will continue to do so.
I am not in any way forcing Catholicism on anyone. I do think it is important to be in touch with yourself and practice what you preach. Knowing what you believe in makes a huge difference in your day to day habits. I hope everyone is able to experience the gratitude for something as I have with God. A relationship with Him is so important to me, and I am so glad He is in my life again.