self living motivation

When You Start Living For Yourself, Everything In Your Life Becomes Clear

Be the happiest version of yourself.


The short time I've spent in college has brought me to many realizations about myself. Most importantly, I have realized how important it is for me to make myself a priority in this stage of my life. While creating this mindset for myself is a work in progress, I've identified a few of the key aspects that bring me closer to making myself my first priority.

When I am living for myself, I am present in the moment.

"Live in the moment" may be a cliché phrase, but for someone with an over-active mind like mine, something that seems so simple can prove to be quite an obstacle when it comes to personal contentedness. No one said it better than John Green in my favorite book, "Looking for Alaska."

"Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia."
"You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present."

While it is essential to plan for the future and set goals for yourself, there should be a mental balance between seeking a fulfilling life and appreciating the life that you are living right now. On the flip side, overanalyzing the past can be just as detrimental as living solely for the future. Learn from the past and use it to your benefit, but don't let it define you or consume your thoughts.

I am emotionally authentic to myself.

Too often I find myself diminishing my emotions because of a fear of a lack of acceptance. It's okay to feel in extremes. It's okay to be upset over something that other people may view as unreasonable, just as it is okay to be extremely passionate about something that someone else may find uninteresting. If you don't allow yourself to feel fully, it is hard to understand yourself and grow from your experiences. You owe it to yourself to acknowledge how you are feeling. Being happy shouldn't be something you have to convince yourself of, and it's hard to be genuinely happy when you are suppressing your true state of mind.

I've come to realize that other people should complement my life, not complete it.

When you make yourself your first priority, everything else can sort of fall into place. Other people are meant to complement your life, not control your happiness. Basically, I decided to stop waiting around from someone to come along and make me happy. Constantly seeking the head-over-heels romantic relationship or the picture-perfect group of friends is no way to live. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I don't appreciate all of the incredible people in my life, because I do, but I think that it is important to have a sense of self-stability and realize that while relationships can enhance your life in unbelievable ways, your foundation for happiness should not be built upon other people, but on the sustainability that you have created for yourself. People come and go in life and it's not the end of the world unless you make it that way.

I'm trying my hardest to letting others determine how I spend my time or how I feel about myself.

College is the perfect time to be completely selfish with how you spend your time. We only get so much free time to do things that we are passionate about so it's important to take the time to evaluate what is most important to you and put your time dedicated to things and people that you care about the most. Your time should not be spent pleasing people or comparing yourself to others. Today's society makes it practically impossible to avoid comparing your life to everyone else's lives when every move is displayed online. As someone who partakes in these platforms religiously, I've come to realize that there is a big difference between sharing parts of my life that I care about and doing things just to share them. As hard as it may be to ignore, the lifestyle of someone else should never diminish or heighten the happiness we feel toward our own lives.

Ultimately, I've come to accept that while there are many things that I don't have control over in my life, one thing that I do have control over is my state of mind.

As I said before, trying to live with this mindset is a work in progress, but I've found that being more conscious of how I'm feeling and reevaluating my priorities has the potential for great reward. College is the perfect time for self-awareness and growth, which can be accomplished by acknowledging your importance and living life for you.

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20 Fun Facts To Use When Introducing Yourself

As we embark on the semester, we are put on the spot in order to share interesting details about ourselves. This article discloses possible fun facts to tell others!

After experiencing my first week of classes, I have learned that every student needs a handy-dandy list of fun facts about themselves to tell other people. Many professors use the first couple of classes to learn about their students, so you may need to think about who you are and how you want to introduce yourself to your professor and classmates. We all have that one go-to interesting fact about ourselves, but sometimes you just have to mix it up!

1. My favorite hobby is...

What do you do in your free time? Personally, I love to stay active! I am a competitive Latin dancer and enjoy teaching and taking Zumba classes, going to the gym, and hiking.

2. I love...

Is there something, someone, or somewhere that you love? What makes your heart ache? What do you miss when it's gone? I can say that I love my friends because I feel my most confident when I'm surrounded by those who love and support me.

3. I look up to...

Is there someone you adore? Who mesmerizes you? Who do you wish to learn from? After watching "A Ballerina's Tale," I discovered Misty Copeland. In 2015 she became the first African American ballet dancer to become the Female Principal Dancer at American Ballet Theatre. Her passion, grace, and strength continuously motivate me to better myself as an athlete and an individual.

4. This art speaks to me because...

Coco Chanel said, "In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different." This encourages me to always follow my heart no matter what. I will never follow society's standards and norms because they do not define me. Chanel's saying definitely influences my character and lifestyle.

5. A funny and/or embarrassing memory of me is...

When you make others laugh they want to spend time and make memories with you! Don't be afraid to embarrass yourself. You will come off as down to earth, easy-going, and loyal.

6. My siblings or lack thereof influenced me by...

I can go on and on about my brother, who is 10 years older than I. We have opposite personalities and despite the age gap, we're quite close.

7. My pet(s) are my life because...

Only sad people don't like hearing about furry creatures, even if your pets are slimy and slithering creatures all human beings enjoy hearing pet tales!

8. I'm afraid of...

Your personality can be revealed by your likes and dislikes, including the things that you fear. I am terrified of change and the unknown, hence, the future is an anxiety-inducing topic to discuss for me.

9. I am the way I am because...

What have you gone through in life that has shaped you into who you are today? Remember to be open minded and allow yourself to open up to your peers. You may be surprised by how others respond and/or what others have endured as well.

10. The most unusual item that can be found in your dorm...

This is a fun fact about yourself that can easily liven up an awkward conversation. Think about your quirks and differences! One item I have in my dorm is my teddy bear, Peter, whom I like to joke is my boyfriend.

11. My dream job is...

In college, "What's your major?" is a widespread question. Nonetheless, skip the boring statement of "I'm majoring in..." and go in depth on what your dream job is (hopefully your major factors in to this dream of yours).

12. My hidden talents are...

Angelina Jolie is a knife thrower. Kendall Jenner can produce bird noises. Amanda Seyfried can crochet and knit. Is there anything special you can do? Some people have rare and unique talents, maybe you can think of some hidden talents of your own!

13. My guilty pleasure is...

I will say it a million times: don't be shy when introducing yourself to new people! I'll start by divulging my guilty pleasure: Youtube's family vlogging channel, "OKBaby"!

Check them out:

14. Some activities on my bucket list are...

This is an easy way to grab people's attention and find others with similar desires as you. Be an adventurer! Go out of your comfort zone!

15. Talk about your best friend...

How would your best friend describe you? What do you love to do with your best friend?

16. Talk about an accomplishment of yours...

You are incredible and have achieved so much! Reveal something that you are proud of — show off a little!

17. This one time at my job...

Bosses breathing down your neck. Curious coworkers asking personal questions. Cursing customers who never leave you alone. Your job can be filled with tons of hilarious situations that can easily entertain a crowd.

18. During the summer...

Any scars with stories? Any summer flings? Any lessons learned from the tanning too long? Now that summer is over, disclose memories that can leave positive impressions on others.

19. I volunteer at...

Do you do any community service? Share a funny moment while you were volunteering. What did you learn while there? Would you continue?

20. [blank] is meaningful to me because...

What do you appreciate in life? What brightens your day? What makes you fall in love? What does someone have to do to make you smile?

Finally, remember to be outgoing! Reveal that three-mile smile and open your arms to learning about others. Spread smiles, love, and happiness.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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How To Know That You're In A New York State Of Mind

"New York is the city that other cities can only dream of being."


A New York State of Mind does not mean you reside in the city, it is a way of life that you live, in which only some people can handle. Here's how to know if you are in a New York State of Mind.

You've got goals, baby.

Setting your mind on your goals, knowing that you'll achieve them is the number one step. You'll do anything to pursue your goals, which is what any good New Yorker would do.

You're not afraid to be alone.

New York is one of the largest cities in the world, which might make it one of the most lonely. Being okay with being alone is a trait only some can hold.

You keep life moving at a fast pace.

You want to do things, and you want them now. Like the queen Ariana Grande says, "I want it, I got it."

You are accepting of all people.

People are people, and everyone deserves the same love as one another, and if you're in a New York State of Mind, you know that.

You know that failure is not an option.

If you fail at something, you don't just quit and give up, you simply find a new, and better way to do that task.

You stay authentic to yourself.

You know who you are, you don't need to prove yourself to anyone. If they appreciate you and want you in their corner, they should make that clear to you.

You have a plan for everything.

You are prepared for whatever is it that is coming at you.

You know the sky isn't the limit, because you're reaching for the stars.

People will think you're crazy, or your dreams are too big. If you're in the right state of mind, you simply ignore them. There's no point in dwelling on other people's thoughts, when you know what you want.

Possessing these personality traits, shows that you are in fact in a New York State of Mind. If you are, you're a bad ass who knows who you are and what you want, and you'll get it, no matter what obstacles life throws your way.

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