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Your Star Sign As Told By Tina Belcher From 'Bob's Burgers'

"I'm no hero, I put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else."

Sarah Moyer

Aug 28, 2018

The State University of New York at Stony Brook

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"Bob's Burgers" is a masterpiece and Tina Belcher is a feminist icon from start to finish. It seems only right to honor her by getting her take on our horoscopes for this month. After all, Mercury is finally out of retrograde.

1. Aries (March 21 to April 19)

Aries are impulsive, dramatic, and once they decide they want something, boy, do they want it.

2. Taurus (April 20 to May 20)

A Taurus is well-grounded and not afraid to stick to their guns. A Taurus doesn't need a boy to pay attention to them.

3. Gemini (May 21 to June 20)

Poor Geminis, they're so confused. Are they afraid of zombies? Or do they want to make out with them?

4. Cancer (June 21 to July 22)

If you've ever met a Cancer, you know this couldn't be more reflective of their emotional and dramatic nature.

5. Leo (July 23 to August 22)

A Leo can't always understand that their needs be might a little bit much for those around them.

6. Virgo (August 23 to September 22)

Virgos love nature. You can bet your buns that theirs will be out when the sun is.

7. Libra (September 23 to October 22)

Oh, Libras. Notorious people pleasers that will pull out every last ounce of charm to avoid confrontation.

8. Scorpio (October 23 to November 21)

A little sneaky, a little cynical. Every Scorpio has a few tricks up their sleeves.

9. Sagittarius (November 22 to December 21)

You can always count on a Sag to blur the line between optimism and idealism. They (almost) never fail to deliver.

10. Capricorn (December 22 to January 19)

Capricorns are known for their responsibility. But they can also quickly become known for being a know-it-all with a complex.

11. Aquarius (January 20 to February 18)

Blunt and a little aggressive, an Aquarius is confident enough to say what they're really thinking.

12. Pisces (February 19 to March 20)

A Pisces is nothing if not someone who takes on the emotional baggage of those around them.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Your Star Sign As Told By Tina Belcher From 'Bob's Burgers'

"I'm no hero, I put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else."

1. Aries (March 21 to April 19)

2. Taurus (April 20 to May 20)

3. Gemini (May 21 to June 20)

4. Cancer (June 21 to July 22)

5. Leo (July 23 to August 22)

6. Virgo (August 23 to September 22)

7. Libra (September 23 to October 22)

8. Scorpio (October 23 to November 21)

9. Sagittarius (November 22 to December 21)

10. Capricorn (December 22 to January 19)

11. Aquarius (January 20 to February 18)

12. Pisces (February 19 to March 20)

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1. What do you do for a living?

2. What's your favorite color?

3. Do you have any siblings?

4. What's your favorite television show?

5. When is your birthday?

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

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There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

A bad day at the lake is still better than a good day not at the lake.

You know the best beaches and coves to go to.

You have no patience for the guy who can't back his trailer into the water right.

Doing the friendly wave to every boat you pass.

The cooler is always packed, mostly with beer.

Giving the idiot who goes 30 in a "No Wake Zone" a piece of your mind.

You have no problem with peeing in the water.

You know the frustration of getting your anchor stuck.

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Knowing any swimsuit that you own with white in it is best left for the pool or the ocean.

The momentary fear for your life as you get launched from the tube.

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Having unexpected problems with your boat.

Having a name for your boat unique to you and your life.

There's no better place you'd rather be in the summer.

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Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

1. My school is incredibly unique.

2. I am not just a number at my school.

3. I feel like I am contributing something to the community.

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