Stop Being Clingy In Your Relationship

I'm A Stage Five Clinger, But That's Not How I Want To Live My Life

I'm a stage five clinger and honestly, it's the worst thing.

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Growing up, I always tried to be independent. I wasn't confident, but I knew what I liked, where I wanted to go and how to get there. I liked hanging out with friends but I was just fine with spending time alone too. I would go out and ride my bike alone, read alone, write alone and just do me.

When I was in freshman in high school, I got into my first serious relationship. It lasted two years and to say it was unhealthy is an understatement, but I learned things about myself. Fast forward a little bit and I am in another serious relationship. The beginning was amazing and are still some of my favorite memory. My boyfriend always made sure I felt like a queen.

I don't know how or when it happened, but I started worrying about him leaving me. Constantly.

I began doing things I wasn't proud of. If he didn't answer for an hour or so, I'd spam his phone. I'd constantly ask if he was ok or upset with me. I wanted his location on so I could always see where he was. But the biggest issue is that I started NEEDING all of the amazing ways he treated me to feel happy and worth something.

As our relationship settled into its groove, I found myself getting more and more upset with the fact that he wasn't calling me beautiful every day and hanging on to every word that came out of my mouth. I wanted the attention, the romance, the feeling of being needed, valued, prioritized...

Three and a half years later, I'm in a rut. I still have my relationship, but I've turned into a huge pessimist that has pushed him away, someone who needs the validation and attention in order to feel my worth. Maybe I'm not a "stage five clinger" in the most serious sense, but somewhere along the line, I stopped being ok with being independent and started needing someone else to hold on to. It's like when a toddler tries to stand up on their own but their legs are still too shaky. They want to run without even knowing how to walk. They need someone to help them stand before they can get to where they want to be.

At the end of the day, needing to lean on someone in order to feel your worth and happiness in life will only lead to pain and disappointment. I love my boyfriend more than anything, but relying on him to make me happy 24/7 and NEEDING all of the validations from someone else is only making me more depressed. Being clingy and needy sucks and it's a hard cycle to break when you've leaned on it for so long.

I know I'm a wonderful person, with or without someone telling me that. I know I can be a strong, independent woman regardless of who is by my side. So, the truth about being too clingy? Don't do it. Value yourself enough to know your worth. Everyone else will see it, and the people who truly matter will value you too.

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6 Important Must Knows For Dating Sassy And Sarcastic Girls

Brace yourselves boys, she's a tough one.
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Dating a girl with a big personality can be tricky. They are some of the most amazing girls but to keep them, one needs to understand them. Here are six important things you must be aware of before you give your heart to a sassy and sarcastic girl.

1. Stubborn

She is going to be the most stubborn creature you will ever meet. I say "creature" because she might actually scare you with how much she refuses to back down until you have full proof she is wrong. And if you can’t prove her wrong, just suck up your pride and let her be right or she’ll never quit. But just remember that she’s simply passionate about whatever it is and you should be proud of her for that.

2. Bluntness

She is going to be blunt. So be prepared to hear the truth. She isn’t going to care how mad you get, if you’re being rude, she won’t be afraid to put you in your place. If your choice of clothing isn’t matching, she’ll tell you. Whatever it is, she isn’t going to keep the truth from you. Sometimes it’s subtle, sometimes she’s just a little too straightforward.

3. Sensitivity

Be careful sometimes with your choice of words. Though she is blunt, she is also sensitive. Her sarcastic personality is sometimes just a defense mechanism because she fears opening up. She worries a lot and continues to ponder the things you say. Remind her she is loved.

4. Friends

She is going to have a lot more guy friends than she will have girl friends. Why? Because guys tend to find more humor in her sarcasm and don’t take it so personal, whereas other girls take it as she’s being serious and just rude. However, don’t be jealous because trust me, you’re 100 percent hers and those guy friends are just that — friends.

5. Insults

She’s not going to flirt with you by giggling and blushing and calling you cute. She’s going to call you an idiot and smack you across the shoulder or back because to her, that’s easier than being all giddy and speechless over how much she likes you. And even when she’s calling you names, which really is in all fun and games, she doesn’t mean it seriously, she’s actually just saying “I love you” in her own special language.

6. Shorty

If she’s short in addition to being sassy and sarcastic, you’re in for a big treat with her. She is not only going to be full of fast wit, but she is going to have so much spunk in her you won’t know what to do. She will be so feisty that she won’t be afraid of anything or anyone and you yourself won’t even know how to handle her. That’s what makes her special.

It takes a certain type of person to be able to give their heart to someone who can so easily break it with their strong headed personality. But a sarcastic and sassy girl is going to be the one girl who is going to love you with all that she has. Treat her right, and she’ll treat you right.

Cover Image Credit: Larisa Birta

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It’s Not Hard To Be In A Relationship, It’s Hard FINDING Someone Who Wants To Be In One

Oh millennials, we have made a mess of the dating scene...

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I got super lucky once.

I wasn't looking for a guy, but I happened to find the exact one who wanted a long relationship. It's always when you least suspect it, isn't it? I'm newly single, but not quite ready to mingle.

Sure, there are plenty of new fish in the sea, but even they aren't sure if they are ready to sink or swim yet.

No, it doesn't have to be hard to have a relationship. I did long-distance on-and-off for four years, but we pushed through it because we cared about the relationship.

People can make it really tough on themselves to find that perfect person. It makes sense, we all want the right person that fits all of our needs and checks all of our boxes. But I think we as a society are a little more flawed than that. We also have needs of our own and those needs can really get in the way of our time together.

Say you find a person you could see yourself really being with. They will be there for your crying sessions, when you fail a test, when a loved one dies. But will they be there to also lift you up in your darkest moments and laugh together at every free moment? It seems a lot to ask of somebody, but in reality, it's just living.

Avril Lavigne was right, "why do you have to go and makes things so complicated?" In the long run, you'll always be upset if you keep up a checklist that no one can master. I'm finding out myself that not everyone is able to fulfill the basic requirements of a fun loving and easygoing boyfriend, but there is hope that one day, someone will.

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