What Do You Do if A Loved One Needs an Intervention?

What Do You Do if A Loved One Needs an Intervention?

When stepping in can save a life.

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I watch the A&E; TV show Intervention on a regular basis, and the stories are both sad and frightening. There are so many things that can trigger someone to become an addict, and once they begin it's very, very hard to stop.

So what if you have a loved one that needs help? How do you pull off your very own intervention?

Form a Group

Who's going to participate in the intervention? Who's going to help plan it? There should be a specific group, although not everyone who helps with planning has to participate.

It can be helpful to have a professional present at the intervention, or you could choose to consult a professional during the planning but not have them physically attend. It depends on how big the group is and how likely you are to need an outside perspective.

Having one or more non-family members present can be helpful, though, especially if things get heated. A more neutral point of view can help keep everyone calm.

Know the Situation

Even though you may be angry at your addicted friend or loved one, remember that there's always a reason that they began taking drugs. Drugs tend to be an escape mechanism from pain.

What painful events has your friend or loved one faced? Have they been abused? Dealt with death or divorce? Had a bankruptcy or other financial embarrassment?

Knowing the core of the matter can help you be compassionate instead of angry, and if you address these core problems you may be able to get through an addict's defensiveness.

Find a Good Treatment Facility

Part of the strategy of a good intervention is to not give the addict a chance to change their mind once they agree to treatment. They should be moved as quickly as possible to the treatment facility.

Finding a good facility can be difficult since it shouldn't be too close to home. Everlast Recovery can be a great option since it's set in a beautiful location in California.

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) can also be a very valuable resource. It's essential to have a facility selected before the intervention.

Plan Statements and Consequences

There to need to be clear, and often severe, consequences if an addict decides to stay on drugs. Perhaps they will be cut off from the family, or you will report them to social services so their children can be in a safer environment.

Have each person make notes about specific instances of problems, how they feel about the behavior, and how much they want the addict to get help. Some members of the team may want to simply write out their statement as a letter.

Do a Practice Run

Of course, the addict should not know about the intervention until it happens. However, the rest of the group should have one or more practice runs so that they can rehearse their statements. It's also important to practice emotional control.

You can have someone from the planning group stand in for the addict, and you may want to work through more than one scenario about how he or she might react.

Having a calm, united front will be vital on the day the actual intervention occurs.

Hold the Intervention and Follow Up

The intervention should be secret from the addict until the last minute. Once the person does or doesn't agree to go to treatment, the consequences should be immediate. This means an immediate trip to the facility or immediate negative consequences from family and friends.

Don't shy away from carrying out your ultimatums. When you're serious, they may reconsider!

Having a family or friend struggling with addiction is very hard. An intervention may save their life. Don't wait another day – get started!

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To The Professors Who Don't Put In Our Grades Until It's Too Late

Since you're not updating your grade book anyway, mine as well just forget about that D I got on last weeks exam

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Dear College Professors,

As finals are right around the corner, we are all wondering what we need to make in order to ace your class... or not fail your class. But how are we supposed to take the time to calculate this, when all we have is a single letter midterm grade? You may not realize but grades are the central focus of the school, and better yet, college. We strive to get an A and we study endless hours so we can achieve that goal. And for you to not be able to do us the simple favor of putting in that grade, is absurd.

Let's just say, Billy, with the purple hair who sits in the back corner, slacked the entire year and is assuming he has no better than a C in the class. We have a month left of school and he wanted to try to bring up his grade in creative writing, maybe not to an A, but he has come to the realization that he cannot fail the course because his parents cannot afford for him to retake the class. He recently was in the library writing his paper, and even missed the new episode of Game of Thrones episode, to make sure that his paper was golden.

Now it's been two weeks since he handed in that paper. Still no grade. The countdown is on, 10 days left of class and barely enough assignments to pull that grade up. He has 9 work shifts, 5 finals, 2 study guides, and 1 teacher that inputs all his grades. Poor Billy. With not a clue of what any of his grades are, and barely any time to go personally ask every professor for his grades, he's just going to strive to do the best he can on all of his finals.

Two weeks later...

Turns out Billy had a C+ in creative writing, but a D in logic, the class he assumed he was doing well in because he has only had a few assignments.

So points is, professors if you are not updating our grades regularly or at least a few times before and after midterms, we won't know what we are working with. Also being able to look at our grades directly, motivates us to want to fix a lacking grade or ultimately get the best grade possible. We become more determined when we see the number directly rather than when we're just guessing at it.

In high school, all my teachers always put our grades into the computer immediately, but now when school is more challenging and assignments are time-consuming and lengthy, THIS is when we're unable to see how we are doing. How is that fair?

So moral of the story, while we are studying for 5 exams, writing 2 papers and working a part-time job. Take a little stress off our backs and at least give us an estimate of where we are standing.

Thank you,

A frustrated student trying to raise her GPA

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How to Fail in Business – When You’re Really Trying

You can try so hard - and mess it all up. Learn how not to!

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I've been working my business full-time for almost four years. Despite my hard work, my business very nearly failed.

I made a lot of mistakes that lead to this. I want to share those with you, so that you can learn from what I did – and have better success than my business has had.

Wait Too Long to Make the Leap

I was in a very comfortable, stable, and BORING day job. I had dead-ended in my career years before I finally had the courage to leave.

68% of employees in corporate jobs are disengaged. I was one of those folks. I had my business as a side-hustle, and it provided additional income. But I waited three years before I took my business full time!

Why?

Honestly, I let fear and security win the day – until I was truly desperate and HAD to leave. And unfortunately, that led to my second mistake.

Leave Your Job Without Savings

So, while I was comfortable, I wasn't building my income. I let myself get lazy – even though I had a business on the side. It was very difficult to prospect at night when all I wanted to was veg.

Plus, at the same time I was running my side-hustle, I was dating and eventually marrying my husband. That took a lot of energy, and I was more interested in spending time with him than in building my uncertain business.

As a result, when I finally reached my absolute limit and finally gave my two-week notice, I didn't have a cushion saved up. I had a retirement account – and I used it entirely the first year of my business.

Not recommended.

Fall For All the Marketing

I'll tell you the honest truth. It's really hard to resist the temptation to spend like crazy when you have your own business.

I had excellent credit. (HAD.) As a result, I was approved for a strong credit limit on my business credit card. And I took full advantage!

A lot of this had to do with the fact that I fell for a LOT of marketing messages. You know all the folks that say, "I built my business 1000% in one month using these five strategies?"

They're lying!

If I had realized that MUCH earlier, that alone could have helped my business stay a lot more healthy.

Here's the dirty truth – they grew their business 1000% by preying on the uncertainty of beginning business owners like you. They'll give you some generic strategies in their course – assuming you even finish it. But your results will not be theirs, because you're not following the REAL business model.

I also liked the feeling of traveling to business conferences. And those conference hotels are NOT cheap. I whipped out the credit card, oblivious. Oh – and business conferences are one more giant sales pitch. Don't fall for it.

Finding Your Footing

I made all of these mistakes, and my business is still alive. It's very rough and my family is in a deep hole. At this point I only qualify for the types of credit cards Bonsai Finance recommends for folks with bad credit. But I'm still kicking!

A lot of what I did to right the ship was to get back to my core service – freelance writing – and stop chasing every other "success story" out there. I started ignoring the marketing messages. I stopped believing the "I can show you a way to easy money," lies.

If you've found yourself struggling in your business, you may be making these mistakes. Hopefully this article has given you some clarity so you can see the way out!

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