Early November, I already knew that I would be working some days during Thanksgiving break. I figured I'd just come home on Wednesday night to be present for my family's festivities the next day. Of course, knowing me, my original plan got changed the second I agreed to cover someone else's shift and work on Black Friday. I mean, 'tis the season to cop the cornbread, right?
From grocery shopping to studying at a local coffee shop, I'm used to doing things by myself. Spending Thanksgiving without my family and friends did not phase me; after all, I am now an ADULT adult.
I would be lying if I said I did not sense a little FOMO leading up to that Thursday. My friends at other universities were coming home. My coworkers were so excited about their plans. And, there was me, who prioritized work.
When the day rolled around, I woke up early enough to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade on TV to get in the spirit. The parade did cheer me up until I found myself crying and missing my family. But, it gets better: my crying session only lasted for a few minutes and then, I got myself together and continued the day by enjoying all the free time that I had.
Though I spent most of the day on the couch watching Netflix, I also used some of that time to reflect on how my life has been.
First, I am appreciative of the doors that had opened for me.
The semester might have been tough, but I never realized how many good opportunities I received. An internship that allows me to incorporate my passion with my duties. A job that does not stress me and provides the most positive environment. Not only do I get to write for two of the best online platforms for college kids, but I also hold executives positions in both chapters at my school. I'm gaining so much experience from everything that I do, and it has been fun learning and enhancing my professional skills.
However, I should not overwork myself all the time.
In my eyes, I thought that I was not doing enough. I thought I could be doing more. The truth is, I have been doing way too much that it has caused the most ridiculous exhaustion on my part. I did not notice at all until my boyfriend pointed out how tired I looked. One of my best friends also worried about me pushing my limits. In that moment of reflection, it hit me that I had brushed off my wellbeing to the point I became unaware of my own state. I should recognize when I have too much on my plate rather than trying to exert energy that I don't even have anymore.
It important that I realize I am so much more than what I make myself out to be.
I need to stop thinking and convincing myself that I am dumb just because I'm not doing as well as I wanted to in one class. I cannot let a bad grade define me or discourage me. I should not be beating myself up over some struggles that I can still overcome if I wouldn't get unmotivated so quickly after falling short once or twice. If it wasn't for my best friend telling me that he admired me for silently grinding and making moves, maybe I wouldn't have known that I am thriving.
Last but not least, I am surrounded by so many wonderful people.
Everyone around me gives me so much love and support. My family relentlessly roots for me. My boyfriend makes time to listen to my long rants and gives me the best pep talks. My best friends look after me, knowing that I tend to neglect myself. And, my other groups of friends never forget to about me no matter how busy we all get.
I'm happy that I had the chance to reevaluate my life, and I am thankful for everything and everyone that I have.
